Why Is Peeing So Difficult?

I have a problem and it is with my Mommy. I am a good dog. I listen to my Mommy most of the time; I am housebroken all of the time; I only eat twice a day and it isn't anything that needs to be cooked; and, I protect my house and my Mommy. So why does it have to be a big deal when I want to go outside to pee? Would she like it better if I peed in the house?

This is what I go through every single time I want to go outside. First I go to the back door and sit nicely, waiting for Mommy to see me sitting there. I know she knows I am there and I know she pretends she can't see me. So then I start to bark. Each time I bark, instead of Mommy taking me outside, she tells me to stop barking. Sometimes she even uses bad words and says, "Ethel Frances! Shut up!" That hurts my feelings. But she still doesn't get up to take me outside.

I finally figured out how to get her to do it. My Mommy loves to watch TV and when she is in the house, the TV is on. All day and even all night. So when I get tired of barking, I get up and go sit right in front of the TV. She can't pretend she doesn't see me when I do that because she is always looking at it. She will tell me to lie down and because I am such a good girl I lie down. And then I get right back up and sit in front of the TV again. Sometimes I have to bark a few times, but then she gets up. "Ethel Frances," she says, "Do you want to go outside?" I wonder how to say "Duh" in Dog Language.

So I run to my leash and run around in circles and Mommy puts my leash on and we go outside. I do outside what people do in bathrooms and I feel much better. And since we are outside, Mommy takes me for a nice walk. I guess it is worth it to go through so much just to pee, but I wish I didn't have to.

I had a talk with LuLu and she gets frustrated with Mommy, too, but LuLu isn't patient like me. Instead of going to the door to wait nicely, she just starts barking her head off every time she has to pee. She said she tried things like I did, but she didn't think it was fair to have to go through so much just to pee. She learned that if she barks her head off, Mommy will take her out. Izzy said she doesn't even have to ask. She takes a lot of naps and as soon as she wakes up, Mommy takes her right outside to pee.

I wish I could talk so I could ask Mommy why she makes me ask so many different ways every time I have to pee. How would she feel if she had to do that? But I can't talk so I will try to find a way to get her to take me out the first time I ask. I will let you know when I have an answer.