What is a Cigar?

Last night before Mommy and I started out on our walk, I chose the stick that I wanted to take.  I  keep 6 or 10 sticks by the front door because I want Mommy to play fetch with me.  She doesn’t always but I figure if I already have a stick, she might say yes.  That is one of my favorite activities, but not my very favorite.  My very favorite activity is eating ice cream but I will talk about that another time.

So off we went.  We got to the corner and I found a good place to pee.  The grass smelled just right and it wasn’t too long so I didn’t get tickled.  As we continued on our walk we saw Marley with her daddy.  Everyone said hi to each other and then Marley’s daddy called out, “Nice stick, Ethel Frances.  Looks just like a cigar.”  A what?   I looked up at Mommy hoping she would know that I didn’t understand the word, but she wasn’t really paying attention.  A few minutes later Winnie came out with her mom.  Our moms were talking to each other and I heard her mom say, “Ethel Frances looks so cute with that stick.  
It looks like she’s smoking a cigar.” 


There was that word again.  I know I am not allowed to smoke cigarettes and I know when things are on fire there is smoke and I know some people do smoke cigarettes even though they can make people sick, but what in the world is a cigar? 

Our moms finally finished talking and I was walking fast to get to the little field where we play fetch.  Mommy could feel my impatience in my feet.  “OK, Ethel Frances.  I am sorry I talked to Winnie’s mommy for a long time.  How about a good game of fetch?”  Oh boy.  Just what I wanted to hear!  I ran over to the grass and I found a place to poop real fast because the rule is we don’t play until I am finished “doing my business.”

Next thing I knew, we were trotting towards the field and we almost bumped right into Edna Louise and her mommy.  The mommies chatted and the doggies sniffed and Edna Louise’s mom said, “Hi, Ethel Frances. Where did you find such an awesome stick?  It looks like you’re smoking a cigar!”  She laughed and Mommy laughed and we started walking again.  When we got to the field, I sat and waited for Mommy to take the stick and throw it. 

Instead, she stood there staring at me and then she burst out laughing.  “Ethel Frances, all of our friends were right!  You really do look like you’re smoking a cigar.”  I turned my head to the side and drew my eyebrows in and gave Mommy the look that said, “I don’t understand.” Mommy looked at me and said, “Oh, poor Ethel Frances.  Everyone is talking about cigars and you don’t know what a cigar is.  Right, baby?”  I wagged my tail so Mommy knew she was right and she said, “A cigar is a bunch of leaves from a plant called tobacco that are rolled up very tightly and people light the end and smoke it, like they smoke cigarettes.  Men smoke cigars more than women, probably because they are stinky.” 

Mommy and I went to the field and we played fetch for a long time and I was very happy for two reasons.  I was happy to be playing fetch with Mommy, just the two of us, and I was happy to learn a new word:  cigar!