Ethel Frances at a Fashion Show

Last Saturday night, Mommy put on nice clothes and make up.  "Ethel Frances," she said, "Let's get your leash.  We're going bye-bye."  I was surprised.  Usually when Mommy takes me places she is wearing old clothes and no make-up.  I ran to the door before she changed her mind.

After I was in the car, I started trying to figure out where we were going.  Sometimes Mommy seems to know what I am thinking even though I can't talk.  She said, "Ethel Frances, do you want to know where we're going?  We are going to Boots' gallery, Huckleberry Fine Arts gallery, to a fahion show.  Boots and Marcy will both be there. Doesn't that sound like fun?"

Since I had never been in the gallery and I never heard of a fashion show, how would I know if it sounded like fun?  It didn't really matter, though, because I always have fun with Mommy, especially when my sisters are stuck at home.  We went in the gallery and I saw lots of dogs -- dogs wearing clothes!  What was that about?  I thought only people wear clothes!  The only time I saw dog clothes was when Mommy tried to put a sweater on my little sister Izzy.  I guess Izzy knew that dogs aren't supposed to wear clothes because she grabbed it out of Mommy's hands and tried to rip it up.

There was a long, raised white aisled down the middle of the gallery.  Mommy pointed and told me that's where the models in the fashion show were going to walk.  I still didn't understand.  We watched the dogs walk down the aisle, which I learned is called a runway, and then we saw tall, beautiful women wearing beautiful clothes walk down the runway.  Mommy could see that I was confused.  She explained that in a fashion show, models walk down the runway so people can see new styles of clothes.

Boots came over to us, tapped Mommy on the shoulder, and told her that people wanted me to walk down the runway.  Me?  Wow!  I was excited.  I love getting attention and I was pretty sure all the people there would watch me.  Mommy does not love getting attention so she asked Marcy to walk with me.  People agreed that Marcy and I are beautiful!  Since I am neither tall nor thin like the models, I was surprised.

The fashion show was to raise money for MC PAW, a Montgomer County place that will keep and take care of animals while they are waiting for new homes.  I wish my sister LuLu had a place like that when she was little.  Maybe she would not have been hurt.

I am glad Mommy found her and adopted her into our family.  We gave her a safe and loving home.  She gives us lots of love, every single day.  

Do Dogs Really Love Us?

Do dogs really love us? Mommy told me that the New York Times published an article by Gregory Burns, the author of a new book:“How Dogs Love Us: A Neuroscientist and His Adopted Dog Decode the Canine Brain.”  Here is an excerpt:

 With the help of my friend Mark Spivak, a dog trainer, we started teaching Callie to go into an M.R.I. simulator that I built in my living room. She learned to walk up steps into a tube, place her head in a custom-fitted chin rest, and hold rock-still for periods of up to 30 seconds. Oh, and she had to learn to wear earmuffs to protect her sensitive hearing from the 95 decibels of noise the scanner makes.

After months of training and some trial-and-error at the real M.R.I. scanner, we were rewarded with the first maps of brain activity. For our first tests, we measured Callie’s brain response to two hand signals in the scanner. In later experiments, not yet published, we determined which parts of her brain distinguished the scents of familiar and unfamiliar dogs and humans.

Soon, the local dog community learned of our quest to determine what dogs are thinking. Within a year, we had assembled a team of a dozen dogs who were all “M.R.I.-certified.”

Although we are just beginning to answer basic questions about the canine brain, we cannot ignore the striking similarity between dogs and humans in both the structure and function of a key brain region: the caudate nucleus.

​

I can't wait for Mommy to read me the book. She says it might be hard for me to understand, but that’s OK.  When I don’t understand something, I just draw my eyebrows together and tilt my head to the side.  Mommy knows that she needs to give me an explanation. 

If Mr. Burns asked, I would have happily told him exactly what I feel and think. Yes, dogs love humans, and yes, we miss them when they leave the room, (unless we're too busy eating!) Perhaps he'll read my book too, Tales from a Tail Wagging Dog, and then he'll really know how deeply dogs love humans.​

How Old is Too Old

I love my mommy, but she sure does confuse me sometimes.  We were out walking so I could go potty.  LuLu and Izzy had already had their walk.  Mommy always cleans up after us, so she was carrying the bag with their poop, waiting for mine.  While we were walking, we passed some people.  They waved at us.

Mommy had my leash in her left hand so she waved with her right, which had the bag in it.  She said, "I sure am glad that bag didn't break when I waved to those people.  I'm telling you, Ethel Frances, I think I am getting too old to walk around carrying a bag of poop!"

I wondered what she meant, but I can't talk.  I couldn't ask the question, so I didn't get an answer. I just figured that however old she is and however long she has dogs, she will have to carry around bags of poop.

After we got home, I was resting and all of a sudden I heard Mommy yell, "Izzy!  What did you do?  What is wrong with you?  You don't have to answer.  I will tell you what you did.  You peed on the floor and I just stepped in it!  Why aren't you housebroken like your sisters?  You are too old to be peeing in the house!"

There was that "too old" saying again.  Mommy is too old to carry bags of poop and Izzy is too old to pee in the house.  I know Mommy is older than Izzy because Mommy was a grown up when she adopted Izzy and Izzy was just a baby.  So how can Izzy be too old, especially since she is the youngest in the house?

I wonder what I am too old to do?  I guess I will find out one day when Mommy thinks I am old enough to understand!

Ethel Frances Wants to Know How Mommy Colors her Hair

I already wrote about haircuts, but before I got any answers to my questions about haircuts, I have another question.  How in the world can Mommy color her hair?

Mommy was standing in front of the mirror for a long time.  She was looking through her hair the way she looks through mine when she thinks I might have fleas.  She looks through my hair from the tip of my tail to the end of my nose.  She talks while she looks.  "Oh, Ethel Frances, please tell me you don't have fleas!  I can't cope with them right now.  If you have them, LuLu and Izzy probably do, too.  Please, please don't have fleas!"

Of course I can't answer Mommy because I don't speak English and she doesn't understand Dog Language. It would be so much easier if we were both bilingual.  I could just say, "I don't have fleas, Mommy."  When she finally finishes going through every hair on me, she says, "No fleas, Ethel Frances!  What a relief!"

These are not the words Mommy used when she was looking through her hair.  Instead of looking for fleas, she was looking for gray hair.  From the look on her face, I think she found a whole bunch.   She looked at me and said, "Ethel Frances, my gray roots are showing.  I have to color my hair tonight.  I have to get rid of all that gray."

I had no idea how she was going to fix her hair with crayons!  I know all about crayons because my cousins Ryan and Allison have an art room in their house.  They showed me their crayons -- I bet they have a thousand -- and they showed me how they draw pictures and color them with their crayons.  Their pictures are always colorful and happy.

As I was thinking about crayons, I was trying to figure out how Mommy could use them.  In my mind, I pictured Mommy putting her head on the counter.  Then I pictured her taking a brownish reddish crayon. That was as far as my mind would go.  I just could not figure out how Mommy could color every hair on her head.

 Mommy picked up a box and she saw me watching her.  "Ethel Frances, this is the hair dye I use to get rid of my gray hairs.  See."  She took out everything in the box and mixed them together in a bottle.  The mixture was gloppy and smelled kind of bad.  Mommy put it all over her hair, waited for a while, and rinsed it out.

Sure enough, her gray hair was gone.  I don't know who invented hair dye, but I know my mommy would like to thank that person for making her life easier.  I am sure putting glop on her hair and rinsing it out takes way less time then using crayons on each and every hair.

That means Mommy has more time to spend with my sisters and me.  I would like to thank that person, too!

I Am a Published Author!

Mommy woke me out of a deep sleep.  She was clapping her hands and jumping up and down.  She was making such a fuss that when she called me, my sisters came, too.

“Ethel Frances!  Look!  Your book is on Amazon!”  I cocked my head to the side and drew my eyebrows together.  I always do that when I don’t understand something.  Mommy looked at me and laughed.  She picked up her laptop and squatted next to me.  “Look at my computer, honey.  Right there is your book.  See the title?  Tales From a Tail Wagging Dog.  Amazon is an internet store.  People anywhere in the whole world can buy your book now.  Isn’t that amazing!” And guess what! My book is also available on Barnes & Noble!

I started thinking back to when I started writing, about two years ago.  I love my life and I wanted to share my adventures.  I always talk to my sisters and tell them stories, but I wanted to tell lots of people.  I also didn’t want to forget, so I decided to write.  I wrote and wrote and before I knew it, I had enough stories to put in a book. 

Mommy was a big help.  It was hard for me to hold a pen or to type, so Mommy did my typing.  When I finished the first book, I looked at Mommy with my head cocked.  “Ethel Frances, I bet you want to know how to make this into a book.  Am I right?”  I said yes by wagging my tail.  “I don’t know anything about publishing, honey.  I am going to have to do some research.”  Mommy didn’t mention it again for a while.

One day when Mommy got home from work, she threw the door open and yelled with excitement, “Ethel Frances!  Guess what?  You have a publisher!  You have someone who will make your stories into a book!  Her name is Dr. Joyce Starr.  I first met her a very long time ago.  I decided to look her up on the internet to see what she is doing now.  I was surprised to see that she is a book coach and publisher.”

While Mommy was talking, I started thinking about Dr. Joyce Starr.  I didn’t know anything about her.  In fact, to be perfectly honest, I had never even heard of her.  I went upstairs to have time to myself to figure this whole thing out.  I can’t talk, so I couldn’t tell all of this to Mommy.   She helps me with so many problems, but she couldn’t help with this one.  I finally decided that since I trust Mommy, and Mommy trusts Dr. JoyceStarr, I would trust her too.

Mommy went on to tell my sisters and me that Dr. Starr agreed to edit and publish my book.  She suggested that Mommy buy a new camera to take pictures for the book.  We all got a little tired of having our pictures taken, but Mommy said that Dr. Starr needed lots of pictures. 

The day Mommy got the first copy of my book, she almost broke the front door down when she got home from work.  “Girls, girls!  Look!  It’s here!  Ethel Frances, look at your book.”  We ran over to Mommy.  All three of us were wagging our tails with joy.  Mommy held the book up, and right on the front is a beautiful picture of me with my favorite stick in my mouth.  Under the picture is the title, “Tales From a Tail Wagging Dog.”  Under the title is my name, Ethel Frances; under my name is Mommy’s name, Marcia Miller.  It is the most beautiful book I have ever seen! I can’t wait to share my life! 

A great big thank you goes to Mommy and Dr. Joyce Starr for believing in me!! 

You can find my book on Amazon!

What is a Haircut?

I was so confused. This past Friday morning began like all Fridays.  We had breakfast at 5, waited for Mommy to get ready for work, and then had our walks.  When we got home, Mommy put up gates to confine us to the living room and dining room.  She always does that when she will be away for a long time. I think she wants to keep us out of the kitchen; not to keep us in the living and dining rooms.

Mommy comes home from work early on Fridays.  She always reminds us right before she leaves the house. Not this past Friday.  Mommy said, "Bye, girls.  I am sorry but I won't be home early today.  I am going to a get a haircut right after work.  Then I have to go to the store before I come home.  I will give you an extra treat so you won't get too hungry. Please take good care of the house. I love you!"

Out the door she went.  My little sisters, LuLu and Izzy, and I started talking as soon as Mommy left.  We were trying to figure out what a haircut is and where do you get one.  I am pretty smart, but I only know two things about hair.  One is that Mommy is forever sweeping and vacuuming our hair (which is really fur) because we shed a lot.  The other is that Mommy is always talking about how her hair looks. The only things I know about cuts are they hurt and they bleed..

My sisters and I couldn't figure out what Mommy was talking about.  We decided to take a nap until Mommy got home.  When Mommy finally did get home, she was very late.  She took us out to pee and started unpacking the bags she brought home.  LuLu, Izzy, and I went in the kitchen and stared at Mommy. We noticed that her hair looked shorter.  How did that happen?  Did someone actually cut her hair?  Did it hurt?  Did it bleed?  Who did it?

Since we can't talk, it is hard to ask Mommy questions.  We did figure out that if we cock our heads to the side and draw our eyebrows together, Mommy knows we don't understand something.  So that's what we all did..  It took Mommy a minute or two to notice us, but when she did she started to laugh.  "Oh, my girls! What is wrong?  Why are you staring at me like that?  What is it that you don't understand?  I so wish that you could talk!"

Usually I can get my thoughts across to Mommy with facial expressions, whines, barks, growls, and tail wagging; but, not this time.  All I can say is whatever happened to Mommy's hair must not have hurt. Mommy was very happy.  She bent down to give us kisses and when she stood up she said, "So girls, do you like the way my hair looks now?  I got a haircut today and I am very happy with how it looks."

We all looked at each other and smiled.  Then we looked at Mommy and wagged our tails as fast as we could so she would know that we liked her hair, too.  I guess we will never really know what a haircut is and where you go to get one.

I try to learn something new everyday.  Today I learned that haircuts don't hurt!

We Took Turns

I had the best day today.  Mommy and I went to the Home to visit my friends.  We went to Sophie's room first.  Mommy knocked on the door.  We heard Anita tell us to come in, so Mommy opened the door a little bit.  Valentina opened it the rest of the way to let us in.  And what a greeting we got!

Valentina is so cute.  Most dogs I know wag their tails when they are happy or excited.  Valentina wags her whole body.  The wagging starts at the tip of her tail and she wags all they up her back to her neck.  And that's what she did when I went into Sophie's room.

The people were happy to see each other, too, but they don't wag.  They just hug.  What a boring way to express happiness!  Valentina and I like to chase each other.  We ran circles around Sophie.  Valentina likes to pull my ears and I like to pull her legs.  We are careful not to hurt each other.  While we were running wild, Valentina and I heard Sophie say the word banana.  We stopped running, hoping that banana was for us.

Anita said, "I will give them the banana."  Oh boy!  Valentina and I looked at each other, smiled, and ran to sit right smack in front of Anita.  While she was peeling the banana, I was drooling.  I tried not to, but I couldn't stop the drool from pouring out of my mouth.  It got all over Anita's skirt.  It was gross, but she didn't seem to mind.  Anita broke off a small piece of banana and gave it to Valentina first.  I sat and drooled while waiting for my turn.  As soon as Valentina had her piece of banana, Anita gave me a piece.  Anita fed us pieces of banana until it was all gone.

Mommy and Anita both said they were so proud of us because we sat nicely, waiting for our turn.  Neither one of us tried to grab the banana out of Anita's hand.  All of a sudden, I heard the crinkle sound of someone opening a cup of yogurt.  I looked at Mommy and Anita. They had no food.  So I looked at Sophie and saw her opening yogurt.  I love yogurt and Valentina does, too.  This time we ran and sat in front of Sophie.  She handed to top of the yogurt cup to Mommy and Mommy held it out for Valentina and me. We took turns licking the top and when Sophie ate all she wanted, we took turns licking the cup.

Sophie, Anita, and Mommy were laughing a lot.  They thought we were funny.  Valentina and I talked about that.  At first, our feelings were hurt because people were laughing at us.  Then we realized that they weren't laughing at us.  They were laughing because they were enjoying watching us.  We made them happy! Valentina and I agreed that we are lucky we are are friends and happy that we have each other to talk to.  Valentina is my best friend.  I hope you have a best friend, too.

Mommy's Day Off

July 31 did not start out very happy, but I am glad to report that it had a happy ending. The day started like all the other days. We got up at 5 a.m. and had breakfast and then Mommy got ready to walk us. I have two sisters. LuLu is a Rottweiler/Border Collie mix and Isabel Victoria (we call her Izzy most of the time) is a Jack Russell Terrier. Mommy always takes LuLu first, then me, and then Izzy.

 It was my turn and I was excited because I love going for walks with Mommy, especially when I have her all to myself. So out the door we went. I had a bounce to my step and my tail was wagging very fast. I was sniffing around while I was walking and all of a sudden I heard my mommy's voice. It was not a happy sound. In fact, she was growling. I couldn't believe it. What was wrong on such a beautiful day? "Come on, Ethel Frances! Hurry up, Ethel Frances! What's your problem, Ethel Frances?"

What is my problem? What was Mommy's problem? Unfortunately, I can't talk so I couldn't try to talk to Mommy and ask her these questions. Mommy acted grumpy the whole time. While we were walking, I was wondering if Mommy knew that she ruined my time with her.  The grumpier Mommy sounded, the more upset I got. I started thinking that Mommy was going to ruin my whole day!  Then I got kind of worried because Mommy loves going on walks with me. Maybe Mommy was grumpy because she was sick.

I started to tell LuLu and Izzy about the walk, but before I could, I heard Mommy's voice again. Sometimes Mommy talks to herself because it makes her feel better to say her problems out loud. I heard her say, "What a rotten way to start a day off. I don't have to go to work today, but I have to leave early in the morning anyway to take my car to get an oil change. Grrrrrrrrrr."

When I realized why Mommy was grumpy, I wanted to help her feel better. "Hmmm. What could I do?" I knew exactly what to do. I ran over to Mommy and did a little dance in front of her and wagged my tail as hard as I could." I knew Mommy would understand me even though I don't have words and I was right!

Mommy leaned down and hugged all 90 pounds of me. She hugged me and kissed and scratched my back. She said, "Thank you, Ethel Frances! You always make me feel good. I was grumpy because I have to take the car in early on my day off. I am not grumpy anymore because you showed me that I should be happy.  Now I realize how lucky I am to have a job and to have a day off. I will be home much earlier today than when I work. I will have the whole afternoon to be with you and LuLu and Izzy."

And that's exactly what happened. It is almost time for dinner now. Mommy got home a long time ago and she took us for walks and played with us.  We even took naps together! So my day today was a good one. I hope yours was, too.

Ditched Again?

Last Sunday, Mommy took me to visit my friends at the Home.  When we got to the door, I started sniffing around and wagging my tail as fast as it would go.  Mommy looked at me and smiled. "Ethel Frances, is Valentina here already?" she asked.  I can't talk so I couldn't say yes.

Instead, I started walking as fast as I could, remembering that I am not allowed to pull Mommy. We got in the elevator and my tail was wagging like crazy.  Mommy started laughing.  "Ethel Frances, I can tell from your tail that Valentina is here.  Isn't it great that you can tell me things even though you can't talk!"

We got off the elevator and went right to Sophie's (Anita's mommy) door.  Mommy knocked gently and I heard Anita (Valentina's mommy) say, "Come in."  Mommy opened the door and I pushed past her.  "Valentina, I'm here and I am so happy to see you."

"Ethel Frances!  I am happy, too.  I have been looking for you since we got here."  I can't talk to Mommy, but I can talk to Valentina.  We both speak Dog Language and we totally understand each other.  We started chasing each other, running circles around Sophie.  I like to bark when I play, but I try to remember that sometimes when I bark Valentina gets scared.  Anita said that since Valentina is a guide dog, she was taught not to bark. Isn't that interesting.

Valentina and I played while Anita, Sophie, and Mommy talked.  After a while, Valentina's' Daddy, Frank, showed up.  When it was time for Sophie to go eat lunch, it was time for the rest of us to go home.  Frank, Anita, Mommy, Valentina, and I all rode in the elevator together.  When we got outside, Frank said to Mommy, "I am going to take Valentina to go Potty.  I can take Ethel Frances, too."  Mommy said thank you to Frank because she has good manners and I trotted off with them.

At first I was happy to be going for a walk with Valentina and Frank.  Then I remembered something.  Last time Mommy gave my leash to someone, she left me with that person for a long time --four days!  I got scared and started to whine.  I love Valentina.  She is my best friend.  But I love my mommy more.  Was she ditching me again?  I took two steps back to give me room to pull and I pulled Frank has hard as I could.

I know I am not supposed to do that, but I just had to know if Mommy was ditching me or if she was waiting to take me home.  All of a sudden I heard Mommy call out, "Frank!  Just drop the leash before she hurts you."  Just when Frank dropped my leash, Mommy knelt down on the sidewalk.  I ran as fast as I could, right into her arms.  She threw her arms around me and gave me a tight hug and lots of kisses.  I kissed her whole face.

"Ethel Frances, I am sorry you were scared.  I bet you thought I was going to leave you again. Right?  I am sorry you were upset.  I love you so much and I just want you to be happy."

I wagged my tail and kissed Mommy's face again so she would know that I am happy and I love her, too!

They All Came Just to See Me!

Mommy and I left through the front door tonight for our evening walk.  I stopped at my collection of sticks and chose a medium sized one.  We started walking and I heard loud rock music.  I love music and I started wagging my tail to the beat.  Mommy looked at me with a look of amazement on her face.

"Ethel Frances," she said, "I had no idea that you know how to keep time to music.  Look at your tail!  I bet there is not another dog who can do that!  There is a live band playing at the shopping center right now.  Let's go over and hear it."

We went across the street and I saw the band.  There were lots of people sitting at tables and there were lots of little kids playing in water.  Everyone looked so happy.  While Mommy and I were walking around, people kept looking at me and smiling.  We saw my friend Winnie at a table with her mommy, Sara, and Sara's mommy.  Winnie and I were very happy to see each other.

Mommy sat down at the table.  Winnie is lucky because she is small enough to sit on Sara's lap and that's what she was doing.  I am way to big to sit on anyone's lap, so I stretched out on the floor.  The band was taking a break so I started paying attention to all of the people.

Everyone who walked by, stopped when they saw me.  They all said to Mommy, "Can I pet your dog?" Mommy always said yes and always told people that I am a very nice dog.  I felt happy for the attention and proud for what Mommy said about me.

When the band started playing again, I started wagging my tail to the beat of the music .  Mommy got excited and told Sara.   Since the music was loud, Mommy had to talk even louder, but while she was telling Sara about my tail, the music stopped.  All of the people near us heard Mommy.  Many of them came to see me.  The grownups wanted to watch my tail, but the kids just want to pet me.  They hugged me, too.  I loved all of the attention and love I was getting.

One little girl who was almost 2 years old, kept patting me and laying her head on my side.  She was so sweet and gentle.  When her parents said it was time to go, she looked right in my eyes and said, "Thank you, doggie!"  Isn't that so sweet!

Mommy wanted to show all the people how I can keep time to music with my tail, but the band didn't play again.  I know people went to the shopping center to hear the music, but I think they stayed there just to see me!  If they hadn't, wouldn't they have all gone home when the music stopped?

I love people, I love music, I love my family, and I love my life!

A Pole is a Great Big Stick

The other when Mommy and I were going for a walk, we left through the front door where I keep all of my sticks.  I chose one that was short and fat.  While we were walking, I started chewing on it. Mommy doesn't like when I do that.  She says eating sticks isn't good for me.

I didn't listen to Mommy.  The stick was soft and broke in half when I bit down on it.  I drew my eyebrows together and turned my head to the side.  Mommy knows that is what I do when I don't understand something.  She looked down at me and smiled.  "Ethel Frances, are you trying to understand what happened to your stick?"  I wagged my tail so Mommy would know she was right.

"We have been getting a lot of rain lately.  Your stick got very wet and soft.  That is why it broke and fell apart when you chewed it -- which you aren't supposed to do.  Let's see if we can find a better stick on our walk.  OK, honey?"

I wagged my tail again and we started walking.  We hadn't gone very far and I spotted a stick.  It was one of the biggest sticks I had ever seen.  I pulled gently on my leash so Mommy would come with me. That stick was so big and heavy that I could barely pick it up.  I struggled with it and finally lifted it up and started walking again.

Mommy was laughing.  "Ethel Frances, the only stick I ever saw that big was actually a tree! That stick is huge.  It is very smooth, too.  I think that it isn't really a stick.  It's a pole!"  I drew my eyebrows together again and looked up at Mommy.

"Is pole a new word for you?" she asked.  I wagged my tail.  "A pole is a great big stick."

What a wonderful day that was!  I walked with my mommy, found a big stick, and learned a new word.  I am one very happy dog!

Copyright © Marcia Miller and Ethel Frances Miller, 2012 - 2013, All Rights Reserved. 

Did Mommy Make Me Sick?

On the 4th of July, Mommy said, "Guess what, girls?  Today is the 4th of July.  I don't have to work today or tomorrow.  I am going to Pittsburgh and you will be staying with John and Heather.  Won't that be fun?"

I understood what Mommy said about not going to work because she doesn't work on Saturday and Sunday.  I didn't understand "Pittsburgh," though.  Mommy was busy putting clothes and other things in a black bag.  Then she did something very strange.  She got Izzy and her crate and left.  She came right back in empty handed.  Then she called LuLu and me.  She got our leashes and out the door we went. Instead of going for a walk, Mommy put us in the car.  Izzy was already in the back seat in her crate; LuLu was next to Izzy; and, I got in the front next to Mommy.

Mommy talked to us in the car.  She said, "Girls, I am going to Pittsburgh to visit my brother.  I am happy about spending time with my brother and his family, but I am sad about leaving you at the farm with John and Heather."

Wait a minute!  We're not going to Pittsburgh?  We have to stay at the farm without Mommy!  Why? Mommy answered as if I had asked the question aloud.  "My brother moved from a big house to a small apartment.  There is no room for you girls.  I feel bad about leaving you, but I think you will have fun without me."  Just then, we pulled into the driveway at the farm.  Heather came out and took us into the house, right after Mommy kissed  us good bye.  That was last Thursday.  We didn't see Mommy again until Sunday, when she finally picked us up and took us home.

And then I got sick.  My tummy hurt.  I won't tell you any of the details, but it was gross.  Mommy had to stay home from work one day because I was too sick to stay home alone.  She took me to Dr. Martof at the Flower Valley Veterinary Clinic and gave the doctor details of my sickness.

Was I ever surprised to hear what Dr. Martof said!  Mommy should have taken our food to John and Heather.  Giving us strange food could have upset my tummy.  The doctor went on to say that my tummy could also be upset just from being stressed out about Mommy leaving me.  Wow!  Mommy sure looked sad.  She got my medicine and we left.

As soon as we were in the parking lot, Mommy knelt down next to me and gave me a tight hug.  "Oh, Ethel Frances!  I am so sorry.  I guess I made you sick.  I can't say I won't leave you with John and Heather again because I am sure I will.  But I promise that I will take your food there.  Maybe if you have your own food, you will be OK.  I love you so much and I don't want you to get sick again."

I kissed Mommy from the bottom of her chin to the top of her head.  Even though I can't talk, Mommy understood that my kiss meant I forgave her and that I love her, too.

Ice Cream Photos for My Book--Not

Mommy has a lot of rules.  One of them is that my sisters and I are not allowed to take food from Mommy's dishes.  Last night I really thought Mommy lost her mind.  She gave my sisters and me dinner and then took me for a long walk.

When we got home, Mommy went to the freezer and took out some ice cream.  She loves ice cream and LuLu, Izzy, and I do, too.  Mommy always gives us some while she puts some in her cup.  Then she says, "OK, girls, I will give you one more and that's all."  She gives us one more taste and then puts the container away, sits down and eats her ice cream.

Last night Mommy took the ice cream out, gave some to my sisters and me, and put some in a cup.  She put the container away, but she didn't sit down.  She put Izzy in her crate, put the cup on a table, and picked up her camera.  Mommy said, "OK, Ethel Frances, go eat some ice cream."

What was Mommy saying?  Did I hear her correctly?  I looked at her, cocked my head to the side, and drew my eyebrows together.  Mommy looked at me and laughed.  "Oh, Ethel Frances.  I can see from your expression that you don't understand why I told you to eat from my cup.   You are such a good girl!  I need you to eat from my cup so I can take a picture for your book.  So it's OK, but just this time. OK?"

Was Mommy serious or was she testing me to see if I would obey the "don't take food from my dishes" rule?  I thought for a minute.  There is a story in my book about how I stole ice cream.   Hmmmm.  A test or a picture?   I stopped thinking and ran to the table.  I love ice cream and I didn't care if it was a test.

I ate it all so fast that Mommy hardly had time to pick up her camera.  By the time she was ready to snap the picture, the ice cream was gone and so was I.  If it was a test, I failed and I didn't want to wait around just to get in trouble.  If it wasn't a test, Mommy didn't have a chance to take a picture, and I didn't want to get in trouble for that either.  So I ran upstairs and licked the last few drops of ice cream off of my lips.

Hopefully, Mommy wasn't just testing me because that means she will have to try again to take a picture of me eating ice cream!  If I eat it too fast every time, Mommy will keep trying and I will have lots of opportunities to eat lots of ice cream.

Sometimes I am so smart that I amaze myself.

We Got Loose

Mommy took Izzy out to go potty and Izzy actually pooped outside for once.  Mommy brought her in, put her in the crate, and went back outside to pick up the poop.  LuLu was standing near the door.  I heard her whisper, "Ethel Frances!  Come here quick!  Look at the door."  I ran over to LuLu and she was standing by the door that Mommy hadn't closed all the way.

"LuLu, you know how to open doors.  Do it!  Let's go."  LuLu stood watching Mommy for a minute.  She said,  "OK, look.  Mommy has her back to the sidewalk.  Let's go now."  LuLu slipped her paw in the opening, pushed the door wide open, and out we went.

We ran up a hill to the sidewalk and saw a neighborhood Dachshund.  LuLu had never seen him because she doesn't like being outside, but I have seen him lots of times.  He is kind of nasty.  He barks his head off whenever he sees me.  I try to talk to him, but he isn't interested in being friends.  When he saw us, he started barking and screaming.  At first we just stood there looking at him, but we got tired of his barking at us.  We barked back.  We are much bigger than he is and so are our barks.  He got scared and his daddy picked him up and held him up in the air.

Suddenly, we heard Mommy calling us.  "Ethel Frances!  LuLu!  Where are you?  How did you get out?  Get back here right now.  Come!"  Then we saw her running towards us.  I looked at LuLu and said, "We better go home before we really get in trouble."  LuLu and I ran home.  Mommy was standing by the open door.  "Get in here right now."  LuLu ran right in the house.

 I looked at LuLu and Mommy and I ran away from them.  While I was running around, I was telling myself that it was OK to run away if I just stay close to the house.  I like to run and I know that it is dangerous to go in the street, so I don't.  I also know that it isn't safe to go with strangers, so I don't do that either.  While I was thinking, I realized that Mommy's voice was getting closer.  I could hear anger in it.  "Ethel Frances!  You get over here right now."  I put my head down and walked over to Mommy. Then with my head down, I looked up at Mommy.  She knows that is my "I'm sorry" look, but she wasn't ready to hear my apology.  She grabbed my collar and dragged me home.

After we were in the house, Mommy went back out and closed the door.  We could hear her say, "Is your dog OK?"  The man with the Dachshund answered, "Yes.  He is fine.  Your dogs didn't come anywhere near him."  Mommy said, "I am really sorry.  I didn't even know my dogs had gotten loose."

She came back in and looked at LuLu and me.  "How did you girls get out without my knowing?  You are pretty smart, aren't you.  You know you're not supposed to do that, right?  And you scared that poor, little Dachshund?"  Then Mommy looked at me and smiled.  "He's the one that is nasty to you Ethel Frances.  I guess he kind of deserved it."  I smiled back at Mommy and then she said, "But don't do it again.  OK? You could get hurt and that would make me sad because I love you so much."

LuLu and I were very happy that we can't talk.  We couldn't answer any of Mommy's questions.  We just stood there with our "I'm sorry" expression and waited to be forgiven.  And we were.  As  soon as Mommy finished talking she gave us hugs and kisses.

She Called Me Boy

All my life I have known that I am a girl.  When I was a little baby before my human mommy adopted me, my dog mommy said to me in Dog Language, "You are a beautiful little girl."  It makes me happy that I still remember that.

My human mommy adopted me when I was eight weeks old.  She always tells me that I am a good girl and that I am a beautiful girl.  In fact, we only have girls living in our house.  Imagine my surprise when someone called me boy.

Here is what happened.  Mommy and I were taking our long evening walk.  When we got close to the pool, we saw a lady leaving the pool and going to her car.  I didn't recognize the lady so I walked over to meet her.  She was very friendly.  She got down on her knees and gave me hugs and kisses.  She said, "I really love dogs."

I could tell by the look on Mommy's face that she was very proud of me.  I was enjoying all of the attention and love I was getting.  The lady was still kneeling on the sidewalk next to me, scratching under my chin.  She looked me right in the eyes and said, "You are such a good boy!"

"A good what?!"  I said to myself.  Why did she think I was a boy?  I wasn't wearing anything blue.  My collar and leash are both purple.  My name is Ethel Frances.  That is definitely not a boy's name.  Then I felt a little embarrassed.  Why does she think I am a boy?  I looked at Mommy and drew my eyebrows together so she would see that I was confused.

Mommy looked at me, smiled, and patted my head.  The she turned to the lady and said, "Thank you for being so nice to my dog.  Her name is Ethel Frances.  She really loves people.  "  Wow!  Mommy is pretty smart.  She understood that I didn't like being called "boy" and she found a nice way to tell the lady that I am a girl without hurting the lady's feelings."

"Ethel Frances!  I have never heard that name.  It is a beautiful name for  beautiful girl!  I am glad we met today, Ethel Frances.  I hope to see you again very soon."

I hope I see her again soon, too.  I also hope she will remember that I am a girl!

I Can Heel and Look Backwards at the Same Time

I am a very smart dog.  After you read this story, I know you will agree with me.  Mommy and I were taking a nice long walk.  It was a beautiful day and we were not going anywhere special.  We were just enjoying our time together.  That is until I spotted a dog across the street.  I am friendly so I called out in Dog Language, "Hey you!  Hi!  I never saw you before.  Do you live nearby.  I do.  My name is Ethel Frances.  What's yours?"

He answered me, but I couldn't hear him because a big, noisy truck went by when he started talking.  "I can't hear you," I hollered.  Even though I couldn't hear him, Mommy could hear both of us.  It just sounded like a bunch of barking to her because she doesn't know Dog Language.  So Mommy gave me a command that she knew I wouldn't ignore.  "Ethel Frances," she said sternly, "Heel."  Why did she give me that command?  I wish she had just told me to sit.  Then I could have talked to my new "almost" friend.

But she said Heel and so I started walking right next to Mommy's left leg.  That is what Heel means. The dog across the street was getting farther away.  I turned around so I could see where he was, while Mommy was still walking.  "Ethel Frances.  Heel."  Oh man!  I forgot that I was supposed to be heeling.  I decided that I had to figure out how to Heel and watch that dog -- who was now way behind us -- at the same time.

I kept walking and heeling and suddenly the answer popped into my head.  Can you picture this in your mind?  My side was next to Mommy's left leg.  I turned my body and looked backwards while I was walking.  I was shaped like the letter "U," with my head almost next to my butt.  I held that position while I walked.

Mommy looked at me and burst out laughing.  "Ethel Frances!  How smart  you are!  And coordinated, too.  I can't walk and chew bubblegum at the same time, but you can Heel and look backwards at the same time.  Good for you.  You figured out how to  do what you wanted to do while obeying my command.  I am proud of you and I sure do love you a lot!"

Do you agree that I am smart?

Dog Hair - Actually It Is Fur

Mommy and I had a play date at the Home. I played with Valentina the Guide Dog, and Mommy played with Anita and Sophie. Anita is Valentina's mommy and Sophie is Anita's mommy.

 Before Mommy and I left the house, she combed me so I would look pretty. At least I thought that's why she combed me. When she finished she said, "Wow, Ethel Frances! You are really shedding. I am glad I combed you to get all that loose hair off of you.  Look at all that dog hair in the comb. Yuck!  "What is so yucky about my hair. I think it is beautiful. It is black, with a little white here and there, and it is very shiny.  Is it my fault that sometimes it comes out all over the place?

When we got to the Home, I was very excited.  We haven't been there in a long time.  Mommy did what she always does when we get to Sophie's room.  She knocked on the door and when Sophie answered, Mommy let me go in first.  Valentina came running to me.  We can't hug each other because our arms don't do that.  So we stood against each other and ran in circles.

Then Anita called me and at the same time, Mommy called Valentina.  Valentina is a yellow Labrador Retriever.  Mommy had on navy blue pants.  Valentina was happy to see Mommy and rubbed back and forth against her legs.  Then Valentina walked under Mommy's thighs.  Mommy's pants were no longer navy blue.  They looked just like Valentina!

"Valentina!" Mommy exclaimed. "You are shedding as much as Ethel Frances.  Now my blue pants are blond.  Look at your dog hair all over my pants."

I was busy snuggling with and rubbing against Anita.  She had on a burgundy skirt.  By the time I was finished, her skirt was covered with black dog hair.  Anita said, "Oh, Ethel Frances.  I would think your Mommy would be used to everyone shedding after all of these years.  And anyway, you girls don't have hair.  You have fur."

That was interesting, I thought.  I only hear Mommy say dog hair.  She never says dog fur.  Before I could figure out how to ask what the difference is between hair and fur, Anita answered.  "Marcia, you should be glad our girls have fur.  They have oil in their fur so when they get wet, the water just rolls off.  We don't have to dry them like we would if they had hair.  We don't have to get them haircuts like we would if they had hair.  So what if they shed.  They can't help it.  You might as well just think about how easy it is to clean them when they get wet and forget about the shedding.  It is a waste of time to think about things you can't control.  Right?"

Mommy agreed that Anita was right, but I did hear her mumble that she gets tired of vacuuming up dog fur.

Maybe Mommy needs an attitude adjustment. Maybe she should start thinking that the fur looks as good on the floor as it does on the dogs!

Do You Know What Consistent Means?

I know what consistent means. It means dependable, always doing something the same way. My mommy is not very consistent about making my sisters and me follow the rules. Actually I am happy about that. Yesterday, Mommy and I were out walking. At first, she didn't give any commands so I was happy just roaming around, sniffing the ground and watching people. I saw a stick in the street and without thinking, I tried to run in the street to get it.

Mommy was angry. “Ethel Frances, No! You are not allowed to run in the street! You could have been hit by a car. That is very dangerous. I can’t trust you to walk without a command. Ethel Frances, Heel!” I have to be honest. Mommy was right. Running out in the street is dangerous and I know I am not supposed to do it.

So I had to Heel. I learned how to Heel in school. When Mommy gives that command, I have to walk by her left leg and stay right next to her. I Heeled for a few minutes and then decided to see if Mommy remembered that she gave me the command. I wandered away from her side, into the grass. “Ethel Frances,” said Mommy, “Heel.” Phooey! She remembered.

We turned the corner and saw some strangers. I stood up straight and made the fur stand up down the middle of my back. I did that to look scary and to protect Mommy. One lady said, “Your dog is beautiful. Can I pet her? She is so sweet. What is her name? How old is she?” Once everyone started talking, I realized Mommy didn't need me to protect her. They were friendly neighbors.

I was happy to hear the lady say all of those nice things about me. Mommy was busy answering questions, so I wandered off into the grass. When I finished sniffing the grass on one side of the sidewalk, I went around Mommy to the other side. I went back to the other side and my leash went around Mommy’s ankles. Mommy started to walk, but she couldn’t. I turned my head away so Mommy wouldn’t see me laughing.

Uh oh, I thought to myself. I am going to be in trouble because I stopped heeling and I wrapped my leash around Mommy’s ankles. I looked down at the ground, waiting to be scolded. “Ethel Frances! Look what you did. You are so funny!” I looked up at Mommy and smiled. I was thinking, “Mommy, I am glad you are not consistent. You laughed instead of scolding me for breaking the Heel command.

Mommy isn’t consistent in the house either. Sometimes before she gives my sisters and me a treat, she will tell us to Sit and Stay. Izzy sits for half a second, LuLu almost sits but doesn’t quite get her bottom on the floor, and I just stand there drooling. Mommy laughs and gives us the treats even though we didn’t obey the commands.

In a way, I like that Mommy isn’t consistent. I can do what I want, without getting in trouble for not doing what she says. In another way, I don’t like that Mommy isn’t consistent because I don’t know what to expect and I don’t know what is she expects of me.

Oh well. Mommy isn’t perfect. Maybe she just needs to go back to school to learn how to be consistent.

I Just Found Out that I'm a Mutt!

My dog mommy is a Labrador Retriever and my dog daddy is a Pointer. I was adopted by my human mommy (I call her Mommy) when I was eight weeks old. The first place we went was to see Dr. Burns at Flower Valley Veterinary Clinic. Dr. Burns hugged me and kissed me. He said to Mommy, "Ethel Frances is very healthy and very sweet. What breed is she?" Mommy answered, "She is half Lab and half Pointer. That is why she is so beautiful." I felt so proud hearing them say such nice things about me.

Now I am seven years old. Mommy talks a lot. When we are out alone, without my sisters, Mommy talks about me. She likes to talk to people we see while we are out walking. Usually they start talking first. They almost always say, "Oh, what a beautiful dog! What kind is she? Is she nice? What is her name?"

Mommy answers, "Thank you. She is half Lab and half Pointer. Her name is Ethel Frances and she is extremely nice. She is a wonderful dog." I look up at Mommy, smile, and wag my tail as fast as I can. That is how I say thank you, since I can't talk. Those conversations were the best -- until the other day.

Mommy was talking to me. "Ethel Frances, isn't it a beautiful day! You are such a good girl and I love you very much!" After Mommy finished talking, she started singing songs that she made up about me. Mommy thinks her songs are great. I don't agree, but I don't want to hurt her feelings so I turn my head to the side and laugh to myself.

We walked down the block and turned the corner, and met up with lady and her tiny poodle. "Oh my," the lady said. "What a big dog you have there. What kind is she?" Mommy patted my head and replied, "This is Ethel Frances. She is half Lab and half Pointer. She is seven years old. How old is your little poodle and what is her name?" Instead of answering Mommy's questions, the lady said, "My dog is a pedigreed poodle. Yours is just a mutt." I heard two words that I had never heard: pedigreed and mutt. I looked up at Mommy and drew my eyebrows together. Mommy knows I do that when I don't understand something.

My sister Isabel Victoria is a Jack Russell Terrier. Both of her parents are Jack Russell Terriers. I always thought it was kind of boring if both parents are the same breed. I thought that being two breeds made me special -- until that lady called me a mutt. I figured out from her conversation with Mommy that pedigreed means both parents are the same breed. Dogs that have more than one breed are called mutts. I have to admit that I do not like the word mutt. It sounds nasty. It sounds like having more than one breed is not good. That lady hurt my feelings.

I stopped listening to that conversation. I hung my head and held my tail still because I was sad. Mommy talked to the lady a little bit more. Then she looked at me and saw how sad I was. "Ethel Frances, you look so sad! What happened? Why are you sad? I know you can't answer me so let me think a minute." She stood and thought for a few minutes. "Ethel Frances, are you upset because that lady called you a mutt?"

I looked up at Mommy, stared in her eyes, and wagged my tail. Mommy understood that I was sad because the lady called me a mutt. "Oh, Ethel Frances. I am sorry that lady hurt your feelings. People shouldn't call people (and dogs) names. Mutt isn't such a nice word. If she had to say something, she should have said that you are a mixed breed. She thinks her pedigreed poodle is better than a mixed breed. We know better, though, don't we. Ethel Frances, in our home it doesn't matter if the dogs are made from one breed or a hundred. What matters is that you and your sisters are sweet and such good girls. Try not to pay attention to people who say mean things. Just remember that you are wonderful and I love you."

Mommy always gives good advice. I hope no one hurts my feelings again, but if someone does, I will just remember that Mommy loves me and I love her!

Izzy Doesn't Listen, but She Does Tricks

There are three dogs in my family. I am the oldest, the biggest, and the best. I have two main jobs: to protect Mommy, and to make Mommy happy. I protect her by barking when someone comes near our house or near us when we are out walking. I almost always do what Mommy says because that makes her happy and I feel good when she praises me.

LuLu is one year younger than me and a little bit smaller. She never listens to Mommy. Someone hurt LuLu when she was little and she is afraid of almost everybody. Mommy just wants LuLu to feel safe and happy in our home. So LuLu doesn't have to obey any commands, but she is not allowed to do anything naughty, like chewing up Mommy's socks. LuLu never wants Mommy to be upset with her, so she never does anything bad; she just doesn't listen.

Izzy is one year younger than LuLu and much smaller. She is so small that Mommy can pick her up and carry her. She doesn't listen to Mommy much. Sometimes she will sit or lie down when Mommy tells her to, but that's about it. And she is naughty almost every day. She is the naughtiest when Mommy is on the phone or cleaning the house or cooking. Actually she is naughty when Mommy does anything that doesn't include Izzy. So Izzy chews up Mommy's socks just to get attention. She even chewed up two pairs of Mommy's eyeglasses. Mommy gets upset and scolds Izzy, but that doesn't change anything. Another problem with Izzy is that she is 5 years old and isn't housebroken. That means she pees and poops in the house. Poor Mommy always has to wipe it up and wash the floor.

Mommy always says she just can't get that dog to listen, but she did teach Izzy to do tricks. Izzy is smart and learns fast, but she only learns what she wants to learn. The first trick she learned is to pick Mommy's pockets. Mommy puts a treat in her pcket and calls Izzy. "Izzy, come pick Mommy's pockets." Izzy sticks her nose in Mommy's pocket and then shoves her whole head in it. After she finds the treat, she checks all of Mommy's pockets. Mommy laughs and tells Izzy she is smart and cute, too. Then to be fair to LuLu and me, she gives us a treat, too.

The next trick she learned is hard to explain. Mommy tells her to do "Rocky, rocky." Izzy puts her back legs out straight behind her so she is half lying down. Then Izzy moves back and forth. She looks like a human baby who gets up on its hands and knees and rocks back and forth just before it learns how to crawl. I have to admit that Izzy looks adorable when she does it. LuLu and I try to do it when Mommy isn't around, but we just can't.

The third trick she learned is my favorite. Mommy calls Izzy and says, "Izzy, do you want to walk on my feet?" Izzy runs over to Mommy. "OK, Izzy. Stand up. Now turn around." Izzy stands on her hind legs and turns so her back is against Mommy's legs. Then Izzy picks up each foot and puts one on each of Mommy's feet. Mommy holds Izzy's hands and they walk all over the house. LuLu and I watch and laugh!

Even though Izzy is the worst dog in the house, in my opinion, she is also the funniest. She makes everyone in the house laugh every single day.

Have You Ever Tried to Spit Out Grass?

Going on walks with Mommy is one of my favorite things. When Mommy says, "Ethel Frances, do you want to go outside? Want to go for a walk?" I get so happy. I jump right up and run over to Mommy, waiting patiently while she puts my leash on me. Sometimes we go out the back door and sometimes we go out the front door. I like to go out the front door. I keep my favorite sticks there and I pick the one I want to carry.

When I have a stick, our walks are perfect. I walk nicely, right next to Mommy. She never has to give me any commands and we have such a good time. Mommy talks to me, even though she knows I can't answer with words, and she sings to me, too. She knows a lot of songs about me and my sisters. I wonder why people made up so many songs with the words Ethel Frances, LuLu, and Isabel Victoria in them. Mommy knows them all.

When we go out the back door, our walks are not as pleasant. Mommy just doesn't understand that if I don't have a stick in my mouth, I will search the ground for something to eat. I really like to eat bunny poop, but for some reason Mommy gets upset when I do. "Ethel Frances," she says excitedly, "don't eat bunny poop. Leave it! How many times do I have to tell you? Leave it!" I leave it, but not until I get tired of hearing her yell. As for how many times does she have to tell me, the answer is obvious -- every time I do it!

I also like to eat grass. It is very tasty and I like the way it feels when I chew it. Guess what? Mommy doesn't want me to eat grass either. Why? She gives me spinach and lettuce at home. They are green, just like grass, but they taste nasty. When Izzy eats grass, she throws it up so I understand why Mommy doesn't want Izzy to eat grass; but, I don't throw up. I wish I could talk. If I could I would say, "Mommy, why can't I eat grass? I really like it. I wish you would explain what is wrong with it."

Sometimes I can get a whole mouthful of grass before Mommy notices. Then when she does notice, I hear, "Ethel Frances, what is in your mouth? Grass? Drop it!" I try to obey. I open my mouth filled with grass, but nothing comes out. Mommy looks at me and says, "If you can't drop it, then spit it out. Now." Have you ever tried to spit out grass? It isn't easy.

I open my mouth wide. Nothing comes out. I turn my head to one side. Nothing comes out. I turn my head to the other side. Nothing comes out. Finally, I stick my tongue out and blow and grass goes flying. Not all of it comes out though. Grass gets stuck between my gums and my cheeks. I blow and blow and move my tongue in as many directions as it will go. When I can't blow any more out, I just hide it so Mommy won't know. What else can I do?

Mommy watches what I have to go through to spit it out. After I have blown out as much as I can, she smiles, gives me a hug and says, "Thank you, Ethel Frances. You are a good girl. I don't want you to eat grass for many reasons. One is that grass is a toilet for dogs."

She didn't have to say another word. Now I understand. Eating grass that someone has used for a toilet is gross and disgusting. I wonder why Mommy didn't say that a long time ago. Oh well, it is gross and disgusting, but to be perfectly honest, I eat grass anyway. I wonder how long it will take her to figure out that if we only leave through the front door, I will have a stick in my mouth and nothing else -- the perfect solution to the grass problem.

Mommy Hurt My Feelings -- and LuLu's, too!

Sometimes I just don't understand my mommy. Ever since we adopted LuLu and Izzy, Mommy has told me that since I am the oldest, I have to be a good role model for my sisters. Truthfully, I had no idea what she was talking about at first, but I learned.

When my sisters were little and Mommy was trying to teach them the same commands she taught me, she would call me to her. "Ethel Frances, come here for a minute, please." Then she would tell me to sit. "LuLu and Izzy," she would say, "Look at Ethel Frances. See how nicely she sits when I say sit. Isn't she such a good girl! I want you to sit just like that when I tell you to sit."

Mommy made me feel so proud. When my sisters learned "Sit", Mommy was so excited. She clapped her hands and said, "Girls, you did it! You are sitting just like your big sister, Ethel Frances." Mommy followed up her praise with treats! I always try to be a good girl and I try to teach my sisters, sometimes by telling them lessons and sometimes just by my actions.

All of these nice, proud, and warm feelings came to a halt the other day. Mommy was getting our dinner ready. It doesn't take very long, but that day I was very hungry. The sight of the bag full of my food started the drool forming. My mouth was getting full and when I got a whiff of that food, all of the drool poured out of the sides of my mouth. I have to admit that, even though I try not to, I do drool often; but, that was the most drool I had ever seen.

"Ewww! Gross, Ethel Frances! Look at all that drool! I wish you wouldn't do that. It is slimy and it is so hard to wipe up. Why do you drool anyway?" Wow! It is bad enough that I have a drool problem that I can't control. Now Mommy hurt my feelings and made me feel a lot worse. I didn't know my drool was difficult to clean up. I didn't know I was gross. I don't even know why I drool, but since I can't talk, I couldn't answer Mommy's question anyway.

As if all of this wasn't bad enough, the next day Mommy was getting ready to go to work. She put her jacket on and we knew Mommy was going to leave us. "Girls, who wants a cookie and a treat?" Mommy always gives us a cookie and a treat when she leaves without us. She came to us with her hands full. LuLu jumped up on the sofa and when Mommy held out a cookie for her, you won't believe what happened. Drool poured out of LuLu's mouth, almost right into Mommy's hand.

Mommy said, "Ewww! Gross, LuLu! I can't believe you are drooling now. I want you to be good like your big sister, but I don't want you to do every single things she does. I especially don't want you to drool." Mommy gave us our treats, kissed us, told us she loves us, and left.

As soon as we heard the door lock, LuLu looked at me with big, sad eyes filled with tears. "Ethel Frances, Mommy hurt my feelings! Now I know exactly how you feel. I didn't drool on purpose. It just poured out. I didn't even know that I am gross. What can we do about drooling and how can we make Mommy understand that we aren't gross?" Now LuLu was crying.

Izzy looked up at us and said, "I am always doing thing that upset Mommy. I chew up her socks, her underwear, her gloves. I even chewed up her eyeglasses. I get in trouble for doing those things. I deserve to get in trouble because I do it on purpose, just to get Mommy's attention. You shouldn't get in trouble for something that you can't control. Maybe I can help get Mommy to understand."

That night when Mommy came home from work, she took us all out for a quick walk. She went in the kitchen and started getting our dinner ready. Izzy winked at LuLu and me and ran out of the room. LuLu and I were so curious about Izzy's behavior that we didn't drool. Suddenly, Izzy started running back and forth in front of us. She ran until she got Mommy's attention. Mommy said, "Izzy, what do have? Bring it! Come! Get over here!"

The more Mommy called Izzy, the faster Izzy ran. LuLu and I were laughing so hard our sides were aching. Finally Mommy caught Izzy. She picked her up and said, "Give it to me right now!" Izzy opened her mouth and let drool pour into Mommy's hand!

Mommy looked in her wet, slimy hand; she looked at Izzy's smile; and, she looked and LuLu and me laughing. "You know, girls, Izzy is too smart. I think I figured this whole thing out. I am sorry I hurt your feelings, Ethel Frances and LuLu. I know you don't drool on purpose. I promise I won't say anything bad about it again. Izzy! I also know that you did just drool on purpose, but you aren't in trouble. I am very proud of you for helping your sisters! Thank you for helping me understand how they felt. I love you all very much. Let's go eat!"

Unfortunately, when Mommy said, "Let's go eat," LuLu and I drooled all over the floor. Mommy kept her promise and didn't say a word about it. That was the best dinner I ever had.

What Happened to Sunday?

I always know the days of the week. Mommy helps us keep track of them. It starts at 5 AM on Mondays. LuLu is the first one up and she wakes up hungry. She starts barking and when Mommy doesn't budge, LuLu pokes Mommy's arm over and over until Mommy gets up.

"Uch!" Mommy says. "LuLu, are you serious? You really want me to get up this early on Monday morning?" That is when we find out it is Monday. The same thing happens on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays. Then comes Friday. Mommy doesn't grumble and growl on Fridays. As soon as LuLu barks, Mommy jumps right up and goes in the kitchen to get our breakfast. She is smiling and happy and she sings while she gets ready for work.

"Today is Fridays, my darlings. I get off work early, so I will be home early and I will be home the next two days. Do you know why?" Of course, after all these years we know why. We just can't answer Mommy's question because we can't talk! She always forgets that. And so she answers her own question. I will be home the next two days because it's the weekend. I don't work on Saturdays and Sundays. Isn't that great! I will be home with you for two whole days."

Mommy is so happy and so are we, even though on Saturdays Mommy doesn't spend time playing with us. Oh, she takes us on our potty walks, but that's about all. She stretches out on the sofa and sleeps -- for hours. Then she gets up and eats and goes right back to sleep -- for hours again. She sleeps and eats the day away. I am surprised she doesn't eat while she's sleeping. Oh well, at least we aren't home alone.

After Saturday comes Sunday -- my favorite day. Mommy takes me out -- just me. I get to go with Mommy and LuLu and Izzy get to stay home. Mommy says I am the only one who knows how to behave so I am the only one who gets to go with her. I am so proud of myself every time Mommy says that. We usually go to the Home to visit my friends. I wait for Sunday to come all week.

This week was no different. I try to wait fast to make the days go by faster, but it doesn't work. When it was finally 5 AM on Sunday, LuLu was still asleep. I poked her in the arm and whispered, "Lulu, it is 5 AM. Aren't you hungry? Go get Mommy." For some reason, Mommy will only get up for LuLu. LuLu did it and we got breakfast. Now all I had to do was wait for Mommy to shower and get dressed and then we could go.

I waited and waited and waited some more. Mommy stayed on that sofa and didn't move. I sat by the door and cried. "Mommy," I said in Dog Language. "What are you doing? I know today is Sunday. Get up, Mommy. Please. I really want to go by-by in the car with you." She can't speak Dog Language, but she does understand.

"Oh, Ethel Frances, you sweet, smart dog. You know today is Sunday. I am sorry but I just can't go out today because I don't feel good. I think I just have to stay home today and rest. I hope you know what I am saying. We will have to wait until next week. OK, baby?"

Wow! I already waited a whole week and now I have to wait another week. I was not happy. I was also not happy that Mommy felt bad. Since I can't talk with words, I told Mommy I understood her the best I could. I ran over to her, wagging my tail, and gave her a big, wet kiss. She gave me a big hug and said, "Thank you for understanding, Ethel Frances. I love you."

I Didn't Know Dogs Erupt -- Did You?

I like to learn and so does Mommy. One day we were watching a TV show about volcanoes. I didn't understand everything, but I did learn the word erupt. It means to force something out suddenly. We watched a volcano erupt and saw lava and ashes pouring out from the top of a mountain. I liked watching it on TV, but I wouldn't want to be near it.

I didn't think much about the volcano after the TV show was over, but a few days later I heard Mommy talking to herself. At first I didn't really pay attention because Mommy talks to herself pretty often. I did start paying attention, though, when I heard Mommy say "erupt." I got nervous. What was she saying? What erupted? Is there a volcano near our house? Was lava going to get me while I was going for a walk? While I was imagining scary thoughts about what was erupting, I heard Mommy say, "Oh my gosh! It looks like Izzy erupted in her crate! What a mess! How am I ever going to clean it all up?"

Izzy erupted? Did she learn a new trick? Did lava and ashes come out of her? I walked over to her crate and found out what made Mommy talk to herself. I hate to be gross, but I want to write this down. Maybe if Mommy reads it in a few days she will laugh. Here's what happened. Izzy erupted from her butt. Ewww. There was poop on every place in her crate!

"Come here, Izzy. Don't touch the floor. Don't touch anything!" Mommy didn't let Izzy run out of the crate to greet her. She picked Izzy up and carried her outside. All the while, she was talking. "Oh, Izzy. What a mess. Is there any place on you that doesn't have poop? I have to find a clean place to pick you up. Oh, here are two places on your sides. This is so gross."

Mommy carefully picked Izzy up and carried her outside to go potty. I doubt that there was anything left inside of her. Mommy picked her up again and carried her upstairs. LuLu and I followed. Izzy ended up in the bathtub. Mommy scrubbed her, rinsed her, and scrubbed her until she didn't stink anymore. Mommy was a little happier. She said, "Izzy, I don't know what happened. You never go potty in your crate. Well, almost never. I hope you aren't sick. Let me rinse off the shampoo and we'll see if you are clean." Mommy rinsed Izzy and smiled. "You can come out now, Izzy. You smell so good and your fur is soft and silky."

Izzy took a towel to Mommy and Mommy dried her. Izzy likes that. When Mommy finished drying her, Izzy started racing through house, rubbing against the carpet and the furniture. She was having a great time. Mommy went downstairs to the crate and started talking to herself again. "Well," she said, "I cleaned the dog. How in the world am I going to clean the crate? It is disgusting." She stood there thinking and then said, "Ah ha! I know what to do." Izzy, LuLu, and I were very interested in what Mommy was saying and doing. Mommy picked up the crate and took it upstairs to the bathtub. We all followed.

While Mommy was cleaning the crate, she said, "Izzy! I found out why you erupted. Look at this." Mommy pointed to a flat piece of plastic that goes on a bag of bread to keep it fresh. She also pointed out a piece of a stick, and several chunks of pine cone. "When are you ever going to stop eating this kind of stuff. You should only eat food and treats that I give you. Do you understand?"

Mommy was using bleach to clean the crate and the bathtub. It started smelling bad, so we went downstairs. Izzy said to LuLu and me, "Sisters, I do understand that I shouldn't eat plastic and wood. I understand that I shouldn't eat pine cones, too. I don't even know why I eat that stuff. I am sad to say, though, that I will probably do it again. I will probably eat Mommy's socks again, too. I don't know why I break Mommy's rules. I will try harder to be good, like you two."

Izzy went running through the house again and LuLu and I looked at each other and shook our heads. Then we both said at the same time, "I don't know what is wrong with that dog. She is lucky she is so cute and sweet or Mommy might give her away." Mommy came downstairs and guess what she said? She said to LuLu and me, "Girls, I don't know what is wrong with that dog. She is lucky she is so cute and sweet or I might give her away."

We have heard Mommy say that about Izzy about a million times. We know Mommy loves Izzy too much and will keep her forever, even when she erupts.

Izzy Strikes Again

Mommy was not happy this week. It all started last weekend. Mommy was taking a nap on the sofa. Izzy was napping on Mommy; LuLu was napping on the other sofa; and, I was napping upstairs. We don't have carpet on our floor because of LuLu, but that's another story. The house was very quiet and all of a sudden,we heard something hit the floor. The rule in my house is if something hits the floor, it belongs to the dogs. Usually that means whenever food hits the floor, but Izzy will eat anything.

One of the lenses in Mommy's glasses popped out while Mommy was asleep. My sisters and I ran to Mommy, hoping that she had dropped food on the floor. Unfortunately, it was just her lens. LuLu and I were disappointed, but Izzy wasn't. She grabbed that lens as fast as she could, jumped on the sofa, and started chomping away on it.

I guess the noise of Izzy's teeth on glass woke Mommy up. She suddenly jumped up, looked around, and saw Izzy on the sofa. "Izzy!," she cried out. "What do you have? What do you have? What is it?" She was running towards Izzy and then came to a screeching halt. Mommy said, "Why can't I see? What is wrong with my eyes. Why is everything so blurry?" Mommy talks out loud, asking questions from time to time, even though she knows we can't answer. I wondeer why she does that.

Anyway, Mommy put her hand up to her glasses and felt a hole where the lens is supposed to be. "Oh no! My glasses!" She ran to Izzy and started asking her questions. "Izzy, do you have my lens? Do you? You do! I see it hanging out of your mouth. Izzy, DROP IT! Oh my gosh, Izzy, you drop it right now! Do you hear me?" Of course Izzy heard her. I think all of Olney heard her, she was screaming so loudly. Izzy was not going to drop that lens. In fact, she smiled at Mommy.

Mommy ran and got the Dustbuster. Izzy is afraid of it and Mommy knows it. Mommy also knows that turning it on and putting it near Izzy will scare her. Then Izzy will drop whatever she has. Sure enough, Mommy turned it on, placed it by Izzy's face, and Izzy spit out the lens. Mommy picked it up and looked at it. She cried out, "Izzy! How am I supposed to see now? Look at your teeth marks all over this lens! You better stop laughing because it is NOT funny!"

After that, all week long, my sisters and I heard Mommy say, "Izzy! What is your problem? I don't understand you? Why do you do things like this? You are lucky you are so sweet or you would be living someplace else." You would be surprised at how many times Mommy repeated herself. To tell truth, I agree with Mommy. I just got a little tired of hearing it over and over, day after day. Well, she changed her tune on Thursday.

Every day when Mommy gets home from work, she always says, "Girls, Mommy's home! Come here so I can kiss you." Thursday, Mommy threw the door open and said, "Thanks a lot, Izzy, you rotten dog!" My sisters and I were shocked. LuLu usually takes a toy to Mommy when she gets home, but not that day. I usually start barking with joy, but not that day. We just stared at Mommy, waiting to hear why she was so upset. "Isabel Victoria, I just ordered a new lens. Do you know what it costs? $172.50! I should make you get a job to pay for it, Izzy. I also think Isabel is too cute of a name for you. I am going to call you Isabrat until I get over being angry. I really hope if you ever think about chewing something that isn't yours, you will think about this week. I hope you remember how much money I had to pay to fix the glasses that you ruined. I just might not have enough money to buy you treats!"

Mommy closed and locked the door, put her purse down, and came in our room and gave us all big hugs and a bunch of kisses. "Izzy," she said, "I just hope one day you will learn how to be a good girl from your sisters. I love you all. Let's go outside for a walk."

I am glad Mommy got over being upset. We are happier when Mommy is happy. Mommy looked at Izzy and said, "My daddy used to say, 'I always love you, but I don't always like you.' That's how I feel right now." I learned something new on Thursday. I learned that Mommy loves Izzy, even when Izzy is naughty.

Uh Oh! It's That Time of Year Again

Last week, the annual chaos started. Mommy was cleaning like crazy. She took all of the cushions off of the furniture and vacuumed the sofas. She vacuumed all of the cushions, too. She swept the floors, then vacuumed them, and then mopped them with a steam mop. Then she went crazy in the kitchen. She pulled the refrigerator and the stove into the middle of the room so she could clean under them. Then she cleaned inside of them. Mommy cleaned places that I didn't even know existed.

The whole time she cleaned, she complained. "Oy," she whined. "Ach," she kvetched. (I just learned the word kvetch. It means complain and whine. I am proud of myself for using a word that I just learned). Then Mommy used a word that explained her mood and her cleaning.

"Girls. Come here, please. I have to tell you something important. No more eating cookies in the living room. I just finished getting it ready for Passover." When we heard Mommy say Passover, we looked at each other and nodded our heads. Mommy left the room and LuLu, Izzy, and I had a nice conversation about Passover. We love Passover even though all the cleaning and cooking makes Mommy grumpy. Then we remembered that we would have two Seders at our house.

Mommy would start cooking days before Passover even started. She is a good cook and we knew our guests would feed us from the table. We would get leftovers, too! At the Seders, everybody takes turns reading the story of Passover and they sing lots of songs. Mommy brings out a bag of little toys and everyone takes something to play with at the table. I am not sure why, but there are lots and lots of frogs in that bag.

LuLu, Izzy, and I love Passover food and we love having guests at our Seders. We agreed, though, that our favorite thing about Passover is that Mommy doesn't go to work at the beginning and end of Passover. She stays home with us. We love when Mommy stays home with us, even when she is grumpy!

Play Date with Valentina

Yesterday, I had a play date with Valentina.  Mommy tagged along and visited with Valentina's mommy and grandma, Anita and Sophie.  I was glad Mommy had someone  to keep her occupied while Valentina and I were playing.

Most of the time, Valentina and I meet up at Sophie's house.  I like to push Sophie's door open just wide enough for my nose.  All of a sudden, Valentina runs to the door to greet me.  Then I push open the door and run in.   Anita always rearranges the furniture in the room to give us a big area to play. That is exactly what happened yesterday.  After Anita rearranged the room, Valentina and I started running in circles.  She tried to grab my ear while I was trying to grab her leg.  Sometimes we don't pay attention to where we are running and we run into each other.  Sometimes we crash into Sophie's chair -- while she is sitting in it!  We got scared the first time we did that.  We were afraid that we hurt Sophie.  We didn't.  Sophie looked at us and started laughing.  What a relief!  We sure do have fun!

When we got tired and settled down a little, Sophie asked, "Does anyone want a banana?"  I was first in line and Valentina was right beside me.  I love bananas.  Sophie didn't want her hands to get slimy from my drool so she handed the banana to Mommy.  Valentina and I followed the banana.  All of the people were laughing, but I am not exactly sure why.  Mommy looked at us and said, "Sit, girls."  We wanted that banana and sat before Mommy even finished saying it.  Valentina got the first piece.  I didn't mind because I knew Mommy would give me the next piece.  I was right!  Mommy went back and forth  between me and Valentina until the banana was all gone.

All of that sitting and the sugar from the banana got us up and running again.  After a few minutes, Anita called me over to her.  I excused myself from playing because Mommy taught me how to have good manners.  I promised Valentina that I would be right back. Guess what?  I found out that I didn't have to say anything to Valentina because we both got to Anita at the same time.  Anita gave us big hugs and we went back to playing.

I guess Mommy and the ladies ran out of things to talk about because they were starting to bother us.  Mommy said, "Valentina, come."  Valentina excused herself because she has good manners, too. She didn't have to do that because we both got to my mommy at the same time.  Mommy gave us big hugs.  She, Anita, and Sophie were laughing.  I said to Valentina, "Do you know what is so funny?"  She shook her head and said she didn't.  Then Anita called me again.  Just as we both got to her (even though she only called me) I heard Mommy say, "These girls are so funny  It's all or nothing with them."

I had to stop and think about that for a minute.  I realized that Mommy meant that if someone called one dog, they got both of us.  I asked Valentina if she thought that is what Mommy meant, and she agreed.  We also agreed that we were jealous of each other when our mommies were involved.  Valentina was jealous when Anita hugged me, but she didn't mind so much if Anita hugged Valentina, too.  I was jealous when my mommy hugged Valentina, but I didn't mind so much if she hugged me, too.

I wonder if it is all or nothing with our mommies.  If I could talk I would say, "Anita, come."  If Mommy came, too, I would have my answer!  Even though I sometimes get jealous of Valentina, she is my best friend.  I hope we have another play date soon!

LuLu and Lynn

Yesterday, after breakfast, Mommy said, "Girls, guess what?  Lynn is coming to visit today.  Isn't that exciting!"  I've know Lynn since I was a baby.  I was so excited that I ran around in circles, wagging my tail as hard as I could.  Izzy started screaming because she was excited, too.  LuLu is afraid of everyone so she started shaking.

When Lynn got here, Mommy gave her a big hug.  Izzy started screaming again, and LuLu started running back and forth.  I waited, patiently, until it got a little quieter.  Lynn gave me a big hug and scratched my back.  It felt so good.

Everyone knows and understands that LuLu is afraid of people.  When people come to the house, she usually runs upstairs and stays there until they leave.  She didn't run upstairs when Lynn came.  Mommy sat on the big sofa and Lynn sat across from her on the little sofa.  To our surprise, LuLu sat on the sofa next to Mommy.  After a few minutes, LuLu felt safe enough to lie down.

While Lynn and Mommy were talking, Lynn sat on the the floor.  She slowly eased her way across the floor, moving closer and closer to LuLu.  LuLu got nervous.  She sat straight up.  Her eyes bugged out.  But, she didn't jump down and run upstairs.  Lynn didn't want to scare LuLu, but she did want LuLu to trust her.  Izzy has to be in the middle of everything so she was on Lynn's lap.

Lynn played with Izzy and reached out and touched LuLu's paw.  Lynn played with Izzy some more.  Then she reached out and put her hand on LuLu's leg.  After a little while, Lynn was actually petting LuLu's head and then her back.  LuLu was nervous, but she trusted Lynn!  She didn't hide behind Mommy and she didn't run upstairs.

I sat and watched the whole time.  I couldn't believe my eyes!  Lynn and Mommy praised LuLu and told her they were proud of her.  LuLu looked at me and gave me a big smile.  She was proud of herself, too!  It might seem like a little thing, that LuLu let someone touch her, but actually it's huge.  Maybe one day, Lulu will trust all of our friends and family.

To Eat or Not To Eat - Off the Floor

My sisters and I know that Mommy works very hard.  She works hard at her job and she works hard at home.  We know this because she tells us, especially when we do something naughty and messy.  We hear, "What is wrong with you girls?  I work very hard all day and then I have to clean up after you!  That is hard work too."

We don’t like to upset Mommy.  We decided to try very hard not to make messes.  We also decided to help clean up Mommy’s messes.  Every time Mommy drops or spills food, we rush over to clean it up.  Sometimes we are lucky and happy when Mommy spills something delicious.

Mommy and I went to the Home the other day.  We were visiting our friends in their big living room.  Mommy was talking to Gary and he was scratching my back.  I was too relaxed to stand so I lay down.  I noticed things on the floor that I didn't notice when I was standing.  I said to myself, "Ethel Frances, it would be a big help to clean up the things on the floor."  I stretched out my neck with my mouth open and just as I was going to grab it, I heard Mommy's voice.

"Ethel Frances!  No!  Leave it!"

I certainly was surprised at Mommy's reaction.  I can't talk with words, but I have other ways to express myself.  I stood up and hung my head down.  I made my tail droop and I drew my eyebrows together.  I stared at Mommy, right into her eyes.  If I could talk, I would have said, "Mommy, what is the problem?  I just wanted to be helpful.  Why are you so upset?"

A few minutes later,  I saw something else on the floor.  I tried to get it, but the same thing happened.  Mommy scolded me and I was sad.  Mommy looked at me, right in my eyes.  She said, "Ethel Frances, you are such a smart girl.  You can't talk, but you told me with your body language that you are sad and confused."

She sat on the floor and gave me a tight hug and a bunch of kisses.  She said, "I know you were trying to be helpful by eating things off of the floor.  The floors here look clean, but the things on the floor are not always food.  That is why I don't want you to eat whatever you find here.  I am proud of you for trying to help.  You can help clean the floors at home whenever you want, but not here.  OK, honey?"

I kissed Mommy's face from her chin to her hair and I wagged my tail as fast as I could.  Mommy knew I understood.  She gave me another hug and a handful of cereal.  I was looking forward to going home to clean the floor.  Maybe tonight Mommy will spill ice cream!

LuLu and the TV

When Mommy feeds us, I always finish eating first.  It only takes me a minute to gobble up my food.  Then I go  watch my sisters eat.  Izzy always finishes second.  I think it takes her longer because she is little and her mouth and teeth are little.  And then there's LuLu.  I don't know what her problem is, but she almost never runs to her bowl to eat.  In fact, many times she just stays on the sofa and watches Izzy eat.

 Mommy used to get upset when LuLu wouldn't eat because she thought LuLu might be sick.  "Please, LuLu.  Go eat.  You'll like it."  Mommy would plead with LuLu but LuLu didn't care.  Mommy decided that LuLu was not sick and that she just didn't want to eat when we ate.  Her food couldn't just sit there and wait until LuLu made up her mind to eat. Izzy and I would fight over it and one of us might get hurt.  So Mommy decided a half hour was long enough to wait for LuLu to eat.  Then she would pick up LuLu's food and put it away until our next meal time.

One day Mommy got an idea about how to get LuLu to eat.  LuLu likes to watch animals on TV.  She watches all animals but puppies are her favorites.  Whenever LuLu sees an animal on TV she runs and gets a toy to chew.  Mommy wondered if the TV would get LuLu to eat.  One morning Mommy put LuLu's bowl was on the floor.  LuLu was lying on the sofa, not showing any interest in eating.  Mommy asked, "LuLu, do you want to watch the puppies while you eat?"

LuLu jumped up and ran to the TV.  She stood there with her nose almost touching the screen.  Mommy turned the TV on and found a show with puppies. LuLu took one look at the puppies, ran to her bowl, and started gulping down her food.  She gulped and then looked at the puppies and gulped and then looked at the puppies until all of her food was gone!  Mommy and Izzy and I were laughing and laughing.

Now any time LuLu doesn't eat, Mommy just has to say, "LuLu, do you want to watch those puppies?"  Sometimes Mommy  just says, "TV!"  LuLu comes running every time and eats up every bit of food -- fast!

I wonder what LuLu thinks about that.  Does she think the puppies might come out of the TV and eat her food? Does she like to have the puppies watch her while she eats?  Sometimes Izzy barks at dogs on TV but I know better.  I know they can't hear us or see us.  I run to Mommy for hugs and kisses while my sisters waste their time watching TV!

Five Years Old and Not Housebroken!

Friday was my baby sister's fifth birthday. Her real name is Isabel Victoria, but we mostly call her Izzy. She is a Jack Russell Terrier. When people meet her and hear her whole name, they usually say, "That's a big name for such a little dog!" We had a little party for Izzy's birthday. Mommy gave us cookies -- real cookies, not cookies made for dogs -- and we sang Happy Birthday Dear Isabel. Actually, we can't talk so Mommy sang and LuLu (our other sister) and I hummed along.

Izzy is sweet and smart. I really can't say anything else good about her. It isn't even her fault that she doesn't listen and she isn't housebroken. I am sorry to say it, but it is Mommy's fault. When I was four months old, Mommy took me to obedience school. Al, the teacher, showed everybody how to teach their dogs to follow the rules. Mommy practiced with me every day. When Mommy says "sit," I sit. When we are out walking and Mommy says "heel," I walk right next to her left leg. When Mommy says "stay," I know that means don't move. I try to be good, but sometimes I just have too much energy. "Stay" is the hardest command to do. Mommy taught me that I have the biggest bathroom in the world. It is everyplace outside. When I have to go, I sit by the door and bark. Mommy knows what that means and we go right outside. Mommy always praises me for being a good girl!

Now I will tell you about Izzy. She has never gone to school and Mommy never taught her anything. She gets in trouble every single day. If Mommy isn't paying attention to Izzy, Izzy goes all through the house until she finds Mommy's socks or gloves. She runs back and forth until Mommy notices her. Mommy says, "Izzy! Bring it! Bring it right now." Izzy wags her tail and gives Mommy a look that says, "You come get it." Mommy chases Izzy all through the house and finally gets her clothing back -- full of holes.

When Mommy and Izzy go for a walk, Mommy doesn't even bother to say "Heel" because she knows Izzy won't do it. Even though Izzy is small, she is strong and she pulls Mommy all over the place. Izzy pees outside, but that's it. When it is time to go home, Izzy starts picking up pine cones and sticks. Mommy says "Drop it" or "Leave it," but Izzy doesn't listen. They come in the house and you just wouldn't believe your eyes. First Mommy runs to get the vacuum cleaner. That is the only way she can get Izzy to drop the pine cones and sticks. Izzy likes to eat them, but they make her sick. So Mommy turns on the vacuum cleaner and when she gets close to Izzy, Izzy will drop everything. Mommy stoops to clean up the mess, and Izzy runs in and grabs the pine cones while Mommy is picking them up. Mommy gets so angry. After all of that is cleaned up, Izzy poops on the floor! You don't even want to know what my mommy says when she finds it. None of us understands why Izzy stays outside for a long time, and then runs in the house and poops.

Izzy does lots of bad things, but the worst thing Izzy does is she bites me. Hard. She used to do it a lot more, but Mommy used the vacuum cleaner to get Izzy to stop. She is a bully and she thinks she should be first for everything: going outside; getting fed; and, being first at the door when someone comes to the house. I used to get to the door first, but Izzy would get mad and bite me. Now we have a rule for people who are coming to visit. They have to call from the parking lot to give Mommy time to put Izzy in the crate. Izzy can't get to the door at all and she can't bite me from her crate.

Mommy can't train Izzy so she trained all the people who come to our house! On Izzy's birthday, Mommy kept looking at her and she kept saying, "Five years old and not housebroken! I can't believe I have let you live with us for so long." Then she looked at Izzy and said, "It's a good thing you're so cute and sweet. Otherwise you would be living with somebody else." Then she smiles and gives Izzy a big hug and kiss.

Mommy loves all of us. I just wish she had taught Izzy how to be good!