Ethel Frances at a Fashion Show

Last Saturday night, Mommy put on nice clothes and make up.  "Ethel Frances," she said, "Let's get your leash.  We're going bye-bye."  I was surprised.  Usually when Mommy takes me places she is wearing old clothes and no make-up.  I ran to the door before she changed her mind.

After I was in the car, I started trying to figure out where we were going.  Sometimes Mommy seems to know what I am thinking even though I can't talk.  She said, "Ethel Frances, do you want to know where we're going?  We are going to Boots' gallery, Huckleberry Fine Arts gallery, to a fahion show.  Boots and Marcy will both be there. Doesn't that sound like fun?"

Since I had never been in the gallery and I never heard of a fashion show, how would I know if it sounded like fun?  It didn't really matter, though, because I always have fun with Mommy, especially when my sisters are stuck at home.  We went in the gallery and I saw lots of dogs -- dogs wearing clothes!  What was that about?  I thought only people wear clothes!  The only time I saw dog clothes was when Mommy tried to put a sweater on my little sister Izzy.  I guess Izzy knew that dogs aren't supposed to wear clothes because she grabbed it out of Mommy's hands and tried to rip it up.

There was a long, raised white aisled down the middle of the gallery.  Mommy pointed and told me that's where the models in the fashion show were going to walk.  I still didn't understand.  We watched the dogs walk down the aisle, which I learned is called a runway, and then we saw tall, beautiful women wearing beautiful clothes walk down the runway.  Mommy could see that I was confused.  She explained that in a fashion show, models walk down the runway so people can see new styles of clothes.

Boots came over to us, tapped Mommy on the shoulder, and told her that people wanted me to walk down the runway.  Me?  Wow!  I was excited.  I love getting attention and I was pretty sure all the people there would watch me.  Mommy does not love getting attention so she asked Marcy to walk with me.  People agreed that Marcy and I are beautiful!  Since I am neither tall nor thin like the models, I was surprised.

The fashion show was to raise money for MC PAW, a Montgomer County place that will keep and take care of animals while they are waiting for new homes.  I wish my sister LuLu had a place like that when she was little.  Maybe she would not have been hurt.

I am glad Mommy found her and adopted her into our family.  We gave her a safe and loving home.  She gives us lots of love, every single day.  

Do Dogs Really Love Us?

Do dogs really love us? Mommy told me that the New York Times published an article by Gregory Burns, the author of a new book:“How Dogs Love Us: A Neuroscientist and His Adopted Dog Decode the Canine Brain.”  Here is an excerpt:

 With the help of my friend Mark Spivak, a dog trainer, we started teaching Callie to go into an M.R.I. simulator that I built in my living room. She learned to walk up steps into a tube, place her head in a custom-fitted chin rest, and hold rock-still for periods of up to 30 seconds. Oh, and she had to learn to wear earmuffs to protect her sensitive hearing from the 95 decibels of noise the scanner makes.

After months of training and some trial-and-error at the real M.R.I. scanner, we were rewarded with the first maps of brain activity. For our first tests, we measured Callie’s brain response to two hand signals in the scanner. In later experiments, not yet published, we determined which parts of her brain distinguished the scents of familiar and unfamiliar dogs and humans.

Soon, the local dog community learned of our quest to determine what dogs are thinking. Within a year, we had assembled a team of a dozen dogs who were all “M.R.I.-certified.”

Although we are just beginning to answer basic questions about the canine brain, we cannot ignore the striking similarity between dogs and humans in both the structure and function of a key brain region: the caudate nucleus.

​

I can't wait for Mommy to read me the book. She says it might be hard for me to understand, but that’s OK.  When I don’t understand something, I just draw my eyebrows together and tilt my head to the side.  Mommy knows that she needs to give me an explanation. 

If Mr. Burns asked, I would have happily told him exactly what I feel and think. Yes, dogs love humans, and yes, we miss them when they leave the room, (unless we're too busy eating!) Perhaps he'll read my book too, Tales from a Tail Wagging Dog, and then he'll really know how deeply dogs love humans.​

How Old is Too Old

I love my mommy, but she sure does confuse me sometimes.  We were out walking so I could go potty.  LuLu and Izzy had already had their walk.  Mommy always cleans up after us, so she was carrying the bag with their poop, waiting for mine.  While we were walking, we passed some people.  They waved at us.

Mommy had my leash in her left hand so she waved with her right, which had the bag in it.  She said, "I sure am glad that bag didn't break when I waved to those people.  I'm telling you, Ethel Frances, I think I am getting too old to walk around carrying a bag of poop!"

I wondered what she meant, but I can't talk.  I couldn't ask the question, so I didn't get an answer. I just figured that however old she is and however long she has dogs, she will have to carry around bags of poop.

After we got home, I was resting and all of a sudden I heard Mommy yell, "Izzy!  What did you do?  What is wrong with you?  You don't have to answer.  I will tell you what you did.  You peed on the floor and I just stepped in it!  Why aren't you housebroken like your sisters?  You are too old to be peeing in the house!"

There was that "too old" saying again.  Mommy is too old to carry bags of poop and Izzy is too old to pee in the house.  I know Mommy is older than Izzy because Mommy was a grown up when she adopted Izzy and Izzy was just a baby.  So how can Izzy be too old, especially since she is the youngest in the house?

I wonder what I am too old to do?  I guess I will find out one day when Mommy thinks I am old enough to understand!

Ethel Frances Wants to Know How Mommy Colors her Hair

I already wrote about haircuts, but before I got any answers to my questions about haircuts, I have another question.  How in the world can Mommy color her hair?

Mommy was standing in front of the mirror for a long time.  She was looking through her hair the way she looks through mine when she thinks I might have fleas.  She looks through my hair from the tip of my tail to the end of my nose.  She talks while she looks.  "Oh, Ethel Frances, please tell me you don't have fleas!  I can't cope with them right now.  If you have them, LuLu and Izzy probably do, too.  Please, please don't have fleas!"

Of course I can't answer Mommy because I don't speak English and she doesn't understand Dog Language. It would be so much easier if we were both bilingual.  I could just say, "I don't have fleas, Mommy."  When she finally finishes going through every hair on me, she says, "No fleas, Ethel Frances!  What a relief!"

These are not the words Mommy used when she was looking through her hair.  Instead of looking for fleas, she was looking for gray hair.  From the look on her face, I think she found a whole bunch.   She looked at me and said, "Ethel Frances, my gray roots are showing.  I have to color my hair tonight.  I have to get rid of all that gray."

I had no idea how she was going to fix her hair with crayons!  I know all about crayons because my cousins Ryan and Allison have an art room in their house.  They showed me their crayons -- I bet they have a thousand -- and they showed me how they draw pictures and color them with their crayons.  Their pictures are always colorful and happy.

As I was thinking about crayons, I was trying to figure out how Mommy could use them.  In my mind, I pictured Mommy putting her head on the counter.  Then I pictured her taking a brownish reddish crayon. That was as far as my mind would go.  I just could not figure out how Mommy could color every hair on her head.

 Mommy picked up a box and she saw me watching her.  "Ethel Frances, this is the hair dye I use to get rid of my gray hairs.  See."  She took out everything in the box and mixed them together in a bottle.  The mixture was gloppy and smelled kind of bad.  Mommy put it all over her hair, waited for a while, and rinsed it out.

Sure enough, her gray hair was gone.  I don't know who invented hair dye, but I know my mommy would like to thank that person for making her life easier.  I am sure putting glop on her hair and rinsing it out takes way less time then using crayons on each and every hair.

That means Mommy has more time to spend with my sisters and me.  I would like to thank that person, too!

I Am a Published Author!

Mommy woke me out of a deep sleep.  She was clapping her hands and jumping up and down.  She was making such a fuss that when she called me, my sisters came, too.

“Ethel Frances!  Look!  Your book is on Amazon!”  I cocked my head to the side and drew my eyebrows together.  I always do that when I don’t understand something.  Mommy looked at me and laughed.  She picked up her laptop and squatted next to me.  “Look at my computer, honey.  Right there is your book.  See the title?  Tales From a Tail Wagging Dog.  Amazon is an internet store.  People anywhere in the whole world can buy your book now.  Isn’t that amazing!” And guess what! My book is also available on Barnes & Noble!

I started thinking back to when I started writing, about two years ago.  I love my life and I wanted to share my adventures.  I always talk to my sisters and tell them stories, but I wanted to tell lots of people.  I also didn’t want to forget, so I decided to write.  I wrote and wrote and before I knew it, I had enough stories to put in a book. 

Mommy was a big help.  It was hard for me to hold a pen or to type, so Mommy did my typing.  When I finished the first book, I looked at Mommy with my head cocked.  “Ethel Frances, I bet you want to know how to make this into a book.  Am I right?”  I said yes by wagging my tail.  “I don’t know anything about publishing, honey.  I am going to have to do some research.”  Mommy didn’t mention it again for a while.

One day when Mommy got home from work, she threw the door open and yelled with excitement, “Ethel Frances!  Guess what?  You have a publisher!  You have someone who will make your stories into a book!  Her name is Dr. Joyce Starr.  I first met her a very long time ago.  I decided to look her up on the internet to see what she is doing now.  I was surprised to see that she is a book coach and publisher.”

While Mommy was talking, I started thinking about Dr. Joyce Starr.  I didn’t know anything about her.  In fact, to be perfectly honest, I had never even heard of her.  I went upstairs to have time to myself to figure this whole thing out.  I can’t talk, so I couldn’t tell all of this to Mommy.   She helps me with so many problems, but she couldn’t help with this one.  I finally decided that since I trust Mommy, and Mommy trusts Dr. JoyceStarr, I would trust her too.

Mommy went on to tell my sisters and me that Dr. Starr agreed to edit and publish my book.  She suggested that Mommy buy a new camera to take pictures for the book.  We all got a little tired of having our pictures taken, but Mommy said that Dr. Starr needed lots of pictures. 

The day Mommy got the first copy of my book, she almost broke the front door down when she got home from work.  “Girls, girls!  Look!  It’s here!  Ethel Frances, look at your book.”  We ran over to Mommy.  All three of us were wagging our tails with joy.  Mommy held the book up, and right on the front is a beautiful picture of me with my favorite stick in my mouth.  Under the picture is the title, “Tales From a Tail Wagging Dog.”  Under the title is my name, Ethel Frances; under my name is Mommy’s name, Marcia Miller.  It is the most beautiful book I have ever seen! I can’t wait to share my life! 

A great big thank you goes to Mommy and Dr. Joyce Starr for believing in me!! 

You can find my book on Amazon!

What is a Haircut?

I was so confused. This past Friday morning began like all Fridays.  We had breakfast at 5, waited for Mommy to get ready for work, and then had our walks.  When we got home, Mommy put up gates to confine us to the living room and dining room.  She always does that when she will be away for a long time. I think she wants to keep us out of the kitchen; not to keep us in the living and dining rooms.

Mommy comes home from work early on Fridays.  She always reminds us right before she leaves the house. Not this past Friday.  Mommy said, "Bye, girls.  I am sorry but I won't be home early today.  I am going to a get a haircut right after work.  Then I have to go to the store before I come home.  I will give you an extra treat so you won't get too hungry. Please take good care of the house. I love you!"

Out the door she went.  My little sisters, LuLu and Izzy, and I started talking as soon as Mommy left.  We were trying to figure out what a haircut is and where do you get one.  I am pretty smart, but I only know two things about hair.  One is that Mommy is forever sweeping and vacuuming our hair (which is really fur) because we shed a lot.  The other is that Mommy is always talking about how her hair looks. The only things I know about cuts are they hurt and they bleed..

My sisters and I couldn't figure out what Mommy was talking about.  We decided to take a nap until Mommy got home.  When Mommy finally did get home, she was very late.  She took us out to pee and started unpacking the bags she brought home.  LuLu, Izzy, and I went in the kitchen and stared at Mommy. We noticed that her hair looked shorter.  How did that happen?  Did someone actually cut her hair?  Did it hurt?  Did it bleed?  Who did it?

Since we can't talk, it is hard to ask Mommy questions.  We did figure out that if we cock our heads to the side and draw our eyebrows together, Mommy knows we don't understand something.  So that's what we all did..  It took Mommy a minute or two to notice us, but when she did she started to laugh.  "Oh, my girls! What is wrong?  Why are you staring at me like that?  What is it that you don't understand?  I so wish that you could talk!"

Usually I can get my thoughts across to Mommy with facial expressions, whines, barks, growls, and tail wagging; but, not this time.  All I can say is whatever happened to Mommy's hair must not have hurt. Mommy was very happy.  She bent down to give us kisses and when she stood up she said, "So girls, do you like the way my hair looks now?  I got a haircut today and I am very happy with how it looks."

We all looked at each other and smiled.  Then we looked at Mommy and wagged our tails as fast as we could so she would know that we liked her hair, too.  I guess we will never really know what a haircut is and where you go to get one.

I try to learn something new everyday.  Today I learned that haircuts don't hurt!

We Took Turns

I had the best day today.  Mommy and I went to the Home to visit my friends.  We went to Sophie's room first.  Mommy knocked on the door.  We heard Anita tell us to come in, so Mommy opened the door a little bit.  Valentina opened it the rest of the way to let us in.  And what a greeting we got!

Valentina is so cute.  Most dogs I know wag their tails when they are happy or excited.  Valentina wags her whole body.  The wagging starts at the tip of her tail and she wags all they up her back to her neck.  And that's what she did when I went into Sophie's room.

The people were happy to see each other, too, but they don't wag.  They just hug.  What a boring way to express happiness!  Valentina and I like to chase each other.  We ran circles around Sophie.  Valentina likes to pull my ears and I like to pull her legs.  We are careful not to hurt each other.  While we were running wild, Valentina and I heard Sophie say the word banana.  We stopped running, hoping that banana was for us.

Anita said, "I will give them the banana."  Oh boy!  Valentina and I looked at each other, smiled, and ran to sit right smack in front of Anita.  While she was peeling the banana, I was drooling.  I tried not to, but I couldn't stop the drool from pouring out of my mouth.  It got all over Anita's skirt.  It was gross, but she didn't seem to mind.  Anita broke off a small piece of banana and gave it to Valentina first.  I sat and drooled while waiting for my turn.  As soon as Valentina had her piece of banana, Anita gave me a piece.  Anita fed us pieces of banana until it was all gone.

Mommy and Anita both said they were so proud of us because we sat nicely, waiting for our turn.  Neither one of us tried to grab the banana out of Anita's hand.  All of a sudden, I heard the crinkle sound of someone opening a cup of yogurt.  I looked at Mommy and Anita. They had no food.  So I looked at Sophie and saw her opening yogurt.  I love yogurt and Valentina does, too.  This time we ran and sat in front of Sophie.  She handed to top of the yogurt cup to Mommy and Mommy held it out for Valentina and me. We took turns licking the top and when Sophie ate all she wanted, we took turns licking the cup.

Sophie, Anita, and Mommy were laughing a lot.  They thought we were funny.  Valentina and I talked about that.  At first, our feelings were hurt because people were laughing at us.  Then we realized that they weren't laughing at us.  They were laughing because they were enjoying watching us.  We made them happy! Valentina and I agreed that we are lucky we are are friends and happy that we have each other to talk to.  Valentina is my best friend.  I hope you have a best friend, too.