Monday, July 30, 2012

Teamwork Gets Us Breakfast at 5

My little sister, Izzy, and I used to have a problem but the middle sister, LuLu, solved it for us. LuLu is afraid of almost everything and everyone and she is so quiet that I sometimes forget how smart she is. Izzy and I like to eat breakfast at 5 a.m., but LuLu doesn't care when she eats. In fact, sometimes she doesn't eat for a day or two. I don't understand that at all! Anyway, Izzy and I try to wake Mommy up at 5 so she will give us breakfast. She knows we don't have to go outside to pee or poop because we don't do that until after we eat and she won't get up just to feed us.

Izzy tries to wake Mommy up first by licking her face and neck and by scratching at the blankets. Mommy just pushes her away and rolls over without even opening her eyes. Then I try by barking and barking. I get tired of barking before she gets tired of ignoring me. So I get up and sit in front of the TV to get her attention. Oops. She is sleeping -- or pretending to -- and her eyes are closed. She isn't looking at the TV. Izzy already went back to sleep. I wasn't ready to give up, but I didn't have any ideas. LuLu did.

She went over to Izzy and poked her. "Wake up, Izzy! I have an idea," LuLu said. Izzy jumped up and we both sat in front of LuLu, waiting to hear her idea. "You know what I do to get Mommy's attention, right? I poke her with my fingernails, like I just poked you, Izzy. Isn't it annoying!" LuLu leaned forward and poked me so I would know what it feels like and it is annoying. "Go on, LuLu," I said.

"I don't care when I eat," LuLu continued "but I know, you girls do and because you are my sisters, I will help you. Tomorrow morning, both of you do what you do every morning and instead of sleeping, I will get up and poke Mommy. I bet she will get up and feed us. Do you like my idea?" Izzy and I both liked her idea and couldn't wait to see it in action.

The next morning at 5, Izzy started licking Mommy's face and neck and then she scratched at the blankets. I started barking and barking. Mommy pushed Izzy away and pulled the blankets over her head and totally ignored us. LuLu looked at us and smiled and walked over to Mommy and poked her arm. She poked and poked and Mommy ignored the poking -- until LuLu poked her in the face. Twice!

"Fine!" Mommy said. "I will get up and feed you if you stop licking and barking and poking. OK?" Of course we can't talk so we couldn't say OK. We just stopped doing everything. When Mommy went to get our bowls, Izzy and I looked at LuLu. She was stretched out on the sofa with a huge smile on her face. She looked very proud of herself. Izzy and I ran over to her and gave her lots of kisses. "Thank you, LuLu,!" we said at the same time. Then we ran in the kitchen and ate our breakfast at 5, just like we wanted.

When we finished eating, we went in the living room and there was LuLu's bowl -- untouched. She went to the trouble of helping us get our breakfast at 5, and she really didn't care when she ate.

That's what I call a good sister!

Monday, July 23, 2012

Where Did Friday Go?

Something very strange happened to me. It started Thursday night when all of a sudden Mommy took away our water and didn't give us a good night treat. Then when we got up Friday morning, we still didn't have water and worse than that, Mommy didn't give us breakfast! LuLu and Izzy and I talked about it and talked about being so hungry and thirsty, but none of us knew why Mommy was depriving us.

We knew it was Friday because when Mommy was getting ready for work she said what she says every week. "Girls, I have to go to work, but today is Friday and I get off of work early for Shabbat and then I will be home all day tomorrow and a lot of the day on Sunday. Isn't that great!" But that is where the weekly routine ended. She didn't give us a cookie and a treat and stranger than that, she got my leash and said, "Let's go, Ethel Frances. I don't want to be late." I was totally confused. I have never gone to work with Mommy. What was going on?!

I found out soon enough. Mommy took me to my doctor. I thought I was going to get my shots and then Mommy would take me home and go to work. I was wrong. Kim came out to say good morning and I was happy to see her and I gave her kisses and wagged my tail as fast as I could. While all of this was going on, Mommy bent down and gave me a kiss and a great big hug and she said, "Bye, Honey. I will pick you up on my way home. You be a good girl, OK?" and she gave my leash to Kim and left without me.

At first I thought she was joking because she does that a lot, but then I heard our car drive away. No one was laughing. Kim took me to the back and put me in a great big crate, without food and water. It was worse than being at the pound! At least at the pound they feed the animals. I decided to try to take a nap, but before I had the chance Kim and the doctor came to get me. They picked me up and put me on a hard table and stuck a needle in my arm. Why! I wanted my Mommy and I even started to cry and all of a sudden I got very sleepy and I conked out! When I woke up I was back in the crate and I was still hungry and thirsty and now my knee was hurting very badly. I couldn't figure it out, but I tell you what. I was one unhappy dog!

When Mommy finally came to get me the doctor told her that my knee was OK and the Xray looked OK, too. She said she moved my knee around a lot and it would probably be sore for a day or two. The doctor also said I tolerated the anesthesia very well. Mommy was happy with the news and gave me a big hug. I didn't understand any of that conversation. All I wanted was to go home, see my sisters, and have some food and water. And that is exactly what happened. After I drank and ate I realized that I was still very tired and I slept all the way from dinner to breakfast. When I woke up, it was Shabbat and Mommy was home with us all day and we were all very happy.

I still don't know what happened to Friday. I just hope it never happens again.

Monday, July 16, 2012

Why Is Peeing So Difficult?

I have a problem and it is with my Mommy. I am a good dog. I listen to my Mommy most of the time; I am housebroken all of the time; I only eat twice a day and it isn't anything that needs to be cooked; and, I protect my house and my Mommy. So why does it have to be a big deal when I want to go outside to pee? Would she like it better if I peed in the house?

This is what I go through every single time I want to go outside. First I go to the back door and sit nicely, waiting for Mommy to see me sitting there. I know she knows I am there and I know she pretends she can't see me. So then I start to bark. Each time I bark, instead of Mommy taking me outside, she tells me to stop barking. Sometimes she even uses bad words and says, "Ethel Frances! Shut up!" That hurts my feelings. But she still doesn't get up to take me outside.

I finally figured out how to get her to do it. My Mommy loves to watch TV and when she is in the house, the TV is on. All day and even all night. So when I get tired of barking, I get up and go sit right in front of the TV. She can't pretend she doesn't see me when I do that because she is always looking at it. She will tell me to lie down and because I am such a good girl I lie down. And then I get right back up and sit in front of the TV again. Sometimes I have to bark a few times, but then she gets up. "Ethel Frances," she says, "Do you want to go outside?" I wonder how to say "Duh" in Dog Language.

So I run to my leash and run around in circles and Mommy puts my leash on and we go outside. I do outside what people do in bathrooms and I feel much better. And since we are outside, Mommy takes me for a nice walk. I guess it is worth it to go through so much just to pee, but I wish I didn't have to.

I had a talk with LuLu and she gets frustrated with Mommy, too, but LuLu isn't patient like me. Instead of going to the door to wait nicely, she just starts barking her head off every time she has to pee. She said she tried things like I did, but she didn't think it was fair to have to go through so much just to pee. She learned that if she barks her head off, Mommy will take her out. Izzy said she doesn't even have to ask. She takes a lot of naps and as soon as she wakes up, Mommy takes her right outside to pee.

I wish I could talk so I could ask Mommy why she makes me ask so many different ways every time I have to pee. How would she feel if she had to do that? But I can't talk so I will try to find a way to get her to take me out the first time I ask. I will let you know when I have an answer.

Monday, July 9, 2012

Why We Can't Eat Pine Cones?

In my neighborhood there are lots of pine trees and they drop lots of pine cones. Some of the pine cones are short, brown and crunchy and others are long, green and chewy. My little sister, Izzy, and I like to eat them. She likes the crunchy ones and I like the chewy ones. For some reason Mommy doesn't want us to eat them. Every time we are outside walking, this is what I hear: "Ethel Frances, what do you have? What is it? Let me see it!" I just stand there looking at the ground, pretending I don't hear her. She tries again to get me to show her what I have, but I won't do it because as soon as she sees it's a pine cone, she will make me drop it.

"Ethel Frances! Get over here! Come on!" I still ignore her and she will finally walk over to me, stick her fingers between my teeth, and pry my jaws apart. "Aha!" she exclaims. "Just what I thought. A pine cone! How many times do I have to tell you not to eat pine cones? Why do you even want to eat them?" She was talking and asking questions so fast that I wouldn't have been able to answer her even if I could talk! Once she pried my jaws open, I couldn't hold the pine cone anymore. It fell to the ground, but Mommy thought I dropped it. "Ethel Frances, you are a good girl! Thank you for dropping the pine cone." I turned my head away so Mommy wouldn't see the big smile on my face.

After we got home, it was Izzy's turn to go outside. "C'mon, Isabel. Want to go outside?" Izzy ran to Mommy and out the door they went. When they came back a little later, Mommy had a scowl on her face and Izzy was hanging her head. Before I had the chance to talk to Izzy about her walk, I noticed pieces of brown crunchy pine cones around her mouth and there was my answer. Mommy's scowl was from Izzy eating pine cones. Mommy went in the kitchen and I went over to talk to Izzy.

"Izzy, did you eat a pine cone, too?" I asked? "Well, I tried to," she replied. "I do not understand why our mommy gets so upset about pine cones. They are nice and cruchy and they taste good and I bet they clean my teeth while I am chewing them. So what if they make me throw up sometimes. If I don't care, why should she!"

"I like them when they are green and chewy," I said, "because the pine taste and smell are strong. They give me diarrhea sometimes but I like to eat them anyway. I wish Mommy didn't get so upset. This morning on the way home from our walk, I found a big, green chewy pine cone and I was going to eat it when we got home. We were almost home and Mommy hadn't noticed that I had it. When we got to Bill and Mary's house I stopped walking." "Ethel frances," Mommy said. "Why did you stop? Let's go home." I stood there, hanging my head so Mommy couldn't see the pine cone. "Come on, honey. It is time to go home. Izzy has to have her walk."

"Mommy kept tugging on my leash and telling me to move, but I just stood there. And then it happened. I starred drooling like I always do when I am near something I want to eat. The drool was pouring out around the pine cone and on to the side walk. I still had my head down and wouldn't look at Mommy." Izzy was listening while I talked and she kept nodding her head. She knew how I felt because she has the same problem. It feels good to talk about my problems, especially to someone who understands.

"Izzy, you know what happened next? Mommy looked down and saw a big puddle of drool." She exclaimed, "Ethel Frances! What is in your mouth? What do you have that is making you drool?" She bent down and pried my mouth open and took out that beautuful pine cone and threw it into the bushes. "How many times have I told you not to eat pine cones! They give you a tummy ache and diarrhea and they smell awful. I really don't understand you sometimes. However, I have to give you credit for being so smart. You knew if you kept your head down I couldn't see that pine cone. Too bad your drool gave your secret away. Now, let's go home."

All of a sudden, LuLu, my other sister, said, "I have been listening to the two of you talking about pine cones and Mommy and I can't believe that neither of you knows why she doesn't want you to eat them. Izzy," LuLu continued, "you throw up and Ethel Frances, you get diarrhea. Do you two think that Mommy enjoys cleaning up all that mess!! Maybe if you did those gross things outside, she wouldn't care what you ate."

Izzy and I stared at each other and then all three of us started to laugh. LuLu is a very smart dog!

Monday, July 2, 2012

Why Did We Sit in the Dark?

Friday night we were going to sleep and I heard loud thunder and rain. The storm was so bad that even Mommy was scared. The lights in the house went off and came back on a few times and then they went off and didn't come back on. I don't understand what happened. Why didn't Mommy get up and turn them back on? The air conditioner and fan stopped, too, and it was starting to get warm in the house. I thought Mommy didn't turn everything back on because it was Shabbat, but after we sat in the hot, dark house and made Havddallah, it was still dark and getting warmer.

My sister LuLu was confused and she stopped eating. She gets scared and confused pretty often and she always stops eating. She told me she gets so upset she feels like she can't swallow. I eat everything all the time. I told LuLu when I get upset, I eat even more than when I'm not. Izzy didn't seem to notice that anything was different. Mommy lit a lot of little candles and she had two flashlights that she used when we went outside and was I surprised when we did go outside! All of those lights were off, too.

Mommy didn't complain about the dark but she had a lot to say about being hot. She hates to be hot and that is something else I didn't understand. Why didn't she turn the air conditioner on when it went off? I know that you can't get anything accomplished by just complaining. You have to do something! How was I going to tell Mommy my thoughts and feelings. Well, I did know how to tell her I was hot. I went right up to her face and panted and panted and blew hot air on her. "Mommy, this means that I am hot. Please do something about it."

She did something, all right. She moved me away from her face and said, "Ethel Frances, I know you are hot and I am hot, too, but I can't do anything about it." All day Sunday we sat in a dark hot house and I noticed Mommy didn't open the refrigerator and she also didn't eat ice cream. I think cold ice cream would taste real good on a hot day. What was happening to my Mommy and our house? Sunday night Mommy opened doors and we got a breeze and the house got cooler -- not cool, but cool-er.

Mommy left us today and went to work and while she was away, the lights came back on but the air conditioner didn't. Mommy came home and showed me fans she bought and found out she didn't need them. "Girls, girls, the electricity is back! Hooray! Aren't you happy!" First she turned on the air conditioner and then she went all around the house flipping switches. And then I was even more confused. If it was that easy to make the house cool and light, why didn't she do that a long time ago?

"Come here, girls. I want to talk to you. I don't know if you will understand but I hope you will. Do you remember that awful storm we had Friday night?" As if we would forget that fast. "Well, the wind was very strong and knocked down trees and power lines. That is why we had to sit in hot, dark house. I hope it doesn't happen again, but if it does I bought two fans that don't use electricity and I bought a radio that uses batteries. At least for now we are nice and cool. Thank you for being such good girls and for not complaining."

I do understand now and I am proud of us for being good. Well, two of us were good. One of us ran out the door without her leash and collar and it was so dark Mommy had a hard time finding her. She is lucky that Mommy didn't just let her run away! Can you guess who the bad one is??

Where to Buy My Book